this post was submitted on 01 Nov 2024
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I was in an induced coma for a month after my accident. It was a horrific experience that traumatized me severely. Tons of nightmares I could feel. Constantly shifting from one to another without sense or reason. No consistency, no mercy, lucid but unable to make change. No escape. I feared I wasn't actually in reality when I truly woke up at first. I kept fearing another shift. I died countless horrific deaths and lost my mind in there.
In researching coma dreams and nightmares in others, I see similar themes. Not always terrible, but always shifty ridiculous dream logic. The dreaming mind is not a realm of coherency telling a long story with a super clear thread. It is an ocean of ideas, fears, thoughts and needs that crash and clang together. In a single night you can have a fragment of a dream you remember that kinda sorta makes sense, but stuck in there for extended times? Chaos reigns.
Not to trivialize your experience, but Deloused the the Comatorium by The Mars Volta is a true story about a guy that tried to kill himself by drinking rat poison, going into a coma, coming out of it, and realizing that the coma world was more preferable/he couldn't cope with the waking world and jumps off of a building to get back. He died.
It's an interesting album that might help? There's a lot of disconnected, out there nonsense in his dreams that they express in the songs.
I'm sure it's not nearly as intense as being in a dreaming coma, but I found music that touches upon a traumatic situation helps me sort it out.