this post was submitted on 26 Oct 2024

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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

Anon is often crazy.
Anon is often depressed.
Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works

518

Anon cuddles with his first gf (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 4 weeks ago by Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works to c/greentext@sh.itjust.works

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[–] rand_alpha19@moist.catsweat.com 235 points 4 weeks ago (24 children)

Fellas, is it gay for your girlfriend to touch your dick?

[–] zaphod@sopuli.xyz 104 points 4 weeks ago

Yes. The only way to make it less gay is to touch your girlfriend's dick.

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[–] Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 168 points 4 weeks ago (21 children)

Totally uncomfortable with the existence of their own dick, plus dating a girl. Quick maths, anon is a lesbian.

[–] Evotech@lemmy.world 42 points 4 weeks ago

Fake and transpilled

[–] itslilith@lemmy.blahaj.zone 40 points 4 weeks ago

Fake and gay

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[–] dragonfucker@lemmy.nz 117 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Fellas, is it gay for a girl to like dick?

[–] Doom@ttrpg.network 30 points 3 weeks ago

absolutely only men should like dick that's why I put balls on my truck

[–] nova_ad_vitum@lemmy.ca 10 points 3 weeks ago

Well it involves dick so it's gay in my book.

[–] Cruxifux@feddit.nl 55 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Anon has a girlfriend? Gay.

[–] zaphod@sopuli.xyz 20 points 4 weeks ago

And also fake.

[–] babybus@sh.itjust.works 48 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

18m? Anon must be good at basketball.

[–] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world 29 points 3 weeks ago

It's his age, idiot. Anon is eighteen minutes old.

[–] MeaanBeaan@lemmy.world 9 points 3 weeks ago

And here we have in Jersey #43... OH GOD WHAT IS THAT!? SOME SORT OF DISGUSTING COSMIC HORROR! MY EYES!... MY EYES!"

"Right you are John, and what rebound game he has. Really a stand out this season for them for sure."

[–] MicrondeMMMMMMM@lemmy.blahaj.zone 46 points 4 weeks ago

No wayyy that's why my girl does this, I learned about sex from 4chan, kill me.

[–] kittenzrulz123@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 3 weeks ago

Fake: Anon has a GF

Gay: Anon is very gay

[–] ddplf@szmer.info 12 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

That's an interesting narrators switch I can see here

[–] Schmuppes@lemmy.today 2 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

It's art.

[–] KurtVonnegut@mander.xyz 1 points 4 weeks ago

It is

[–] fckreddit@lemmy.ml 10 points 3 weeks ago

What is this gf anon is talking about? I thought they are mythical.

[–] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago

I remeber one of the first dates I took a girl on she did this at the drive in. I was like ayy yoo lmao.

[–] MadBob@feddit.nl 1 points 3 weeks ago

Same the other way around.

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