this post was submitted on 31 Dec 2024
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Real talk: I've had this happen a couple of times, and know of many other people who either went through this or believed the same nonsense, with all types and permutations of identities and Southern plumbing between them. And all I'm left with after trying to wrap my head around this thing is a question: can we really blame the people who are doing stuff like this considering Mass Media's been force-feeding us this nonsense from the beginning?
I'm not saying this should imply forgiving the behaviour, not in a million years! I'm just questioning where our collective frustration should be directed.
Seems a lot of people get addicted to the drama, continuous stimulation, emotional rollercoasters, cheap thrills and quick validation. Social media made it a lot worse. It gets to the point people can't live anymore without the drama and go in withdrawal to seek out new thrills. It's the opposite of a stable relationship.
I get what you mean, stress for the cortisol, anxiety for the adrenaline type deal. And, yeah, I do agree that such a temperament/character/neurochemical inclination seeks these situations for different reasons.
But I've also seen plenty of cases where it was just based on a belief, they were convinced that a relationship reached a breaking point once the chemical ecstasy started to die down. The people holding it were obviously suffering because of it (though not fully aware of this causation) and genuinely wanted to find a fix. Unfortunately, they went from disappointment to disappointment when the inevitable kept happening.
It's also why I only have questions, there are layers upon layers of nuance with subjects like this...
You seem to know my ex wife.
Oh, man, I'm sorry... Only ever got as far as "engaged," but it was bad enough when it went to shit. Can't even imagine how it must feel after a commitment of that magnitude...
Bruh, that is only the start. Let’s just say I lost her and my best friend of 20 years at the same time. I’m sure you can fill in the blanks.
Oh, noo... Oooh, fuuuuck... I honestly don't even know what to say, I'm just so very sorry you went through that... Hell, that you're still thoroughly going through it, I imagine! Jeesus, what a fucking mess!
You’re telling me. It’s ok though. Now I have nothing to lose, so I can start over exactly how I want to.
That is beyond admirable! I'm sincerely keeping my fingers crossed for you, hope with all my heart things'll go your way!
Thanks, I appreciate it.