Despite the meme, I totally agree! Most liberals I encounter are well-intentioned, but have been indoctrinated into thinking that capitalism is the best system we have available. Being patient and answering questions that explain what you actually believe, not what they’ve been told you believe, goes a long way. That said, being patient like that definitely a skill that is not always easy to get right, and certainly takes practice.

[–] ShareMySims@sh.itjust.works -1 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (4 children)

being patient like that definitely a skill that is not always easy to get right, and certainly takes practice.

What it mostly takes is mountains of privilege.

Not to mention that tone policing and demanding faux civility (but only from one side, the other gets to openly support oppressive constructs and still be seen as "well meaning" while those defending their humanity and fighting for survival get framed as the problem) are tools that serve to further oppress already marginalise voices, not uplift them.

Do better.

When it comes to social justice, "friendly debate" usually means "unpaidemotional labor in which you are pressured to be super patient and kind to me while I invalidate your humanity and the humanity of people you love." People's lives are not a thought experiment.

Why do I have to watch my language for fear of alienating allies, when they can watch us die without fear of anything?

[–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 9 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

There's a difference between tone policing and humility, a pretty large one, in fact. Huey P. Newton (and myself, by extension) are not blaming those emotionally exhausted or tired. I refuse to condemn those who speak truth to power, or who have a fiery tone. Lenin is one of my favorite writers, and he never held back. Same with Frantz Fanon. However, I have found a good amount of success by trying to be patient with others, and this is a fact I've had to grapple with.

Basically, even if patience is more effective for some people, I refuse to condemn those that choose a more direct and confrontational path. Finger-wagging about "civility" is obviously wrong. Moreover, legitimate fascists and reactionaries are not the same as "well-meaning but misinformed" people as I originally spoke of, and generally should be outright opposed with little care for civility or hostility.

The voices of marginalized people should be especially listened to and not tone-policed in any way either. Racists, transphobes, homophobes, fascists, and reactionaries in general should be openly made fun of and combatted viciously.

[–] Infynis@midwest.social 4 points 6 months ago

Moreover, legitimate fascists and reactionaries are not the same as "well-meaning but misinformed" people

Yeah, this is the big point. If they're "...[invalidating] your humanity, and the humanity of people you love," they are just abusing your patience, and don't deserve it. Fuck those people.

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