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Congrats, you're officially at the point where you should probably looking at kubernetes. Highly available, failover, and load balancers. It's a steep learning curve, but if you're looking for this level of availability you're probably ready for it
Already considering using Kube, though I haven't read much about it yet. Does it support this specific use case (making multiple servers share a single LAN IP with failover), in a way that an ordinary router can use that IP without special configuration?
I use k3s as my base with istio to handle routing, so each node then has the same ports open and istio is the proxy. Internally there's a load balancer to distribute to whatever pod the traffic needs to go to. Outside the cluster DNS is my only single point of failure but it routes to multiple hosts. I doubt you'd have trouble finding a way to have a DNS that can do that. I don't think you can get that much more separated from single points