this post was submitted on 06 Sep 2023
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I don't want to sound like an incel, and I like eating vag/salad as much as the next guy, but imagine this image with the genders reversed
IMO either party doing this is fine as long as it's discussed and within the comfort bounds of the people in the relationship.
I think the problem is an expectation when there has been no discussion about whether or not it's within someone's limits.
I have no issue with oral sex between consenting adults. But this meme would not be as well received if the genders were reversed. It's hard to even imagine someone posting "always be there for your man in a time of crisis" with the woman going down on the guy.
Yes, I suppose if you ignore every single bit of the last few hundred years worth of context, it would be hard to understand why people might be ok with this, but not necessarily the reverse.
Fortunately that context is available to you, so what I have trouble understanding is why you're not accounting for that. Maybe you could elaborate, or perhaps do some perspective taking on why historically oppressed groups have certain sensitivities that privileged groups do not have. You might even come to realize that treating everyone exactly the same after not doing so for a very long time doesn't come across as terribly fair. Because, you know, it isn't.
You've conceded my point that it would be insensitive if we reversed the genders. So now the question is whether it is okay for us to show women doing something to men in cases where we are not comfortable with men doing that same action to women.
And here I'm going to respectfully disagree. I do not agree with your claim that being a part of a more historically oppressed group comes with a different set of standards for behavior. This is like saying its fine for obese people to make fun of skinny people--but not vice versa--because the obese people have more often been marginalized in society. We wouldn't accept that reasoning in the case of body type and we also shouldn't accept it in the case of gender.