this post was submitted on 10 May 2024
213 points (91.4% liked)

Not The Onion

12529 readers
1221 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
kescusay@lemmy.world
213
A definitive list of woke and non-woke foods (thespinoff.co.nz)
submitted 7 months ago by Venator@lemmy.nz to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world
52 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

In announcing changes to the school lunches programme, David Seymour said kids would no longer be served ‘woke’ foods. To clear up any confusion, The Spinoff has compiled a guide to the wokeness levels of some common food items.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] boredtortoise@lemm.ee 27 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (19 children)

Based on that list; here are two ChatGPT generated meal plans, one for a woke person and one for a not woke person (don't ask about the numbers, it probably can't count):

Woke Meal Plan:

  • Breakfast: Avocado toast with quinoa sprinkles (Approx. 350 calories)

  • Snack: Banana with almond butter (Approx. 200 calories)

  • Lunch: Quinoa salad with chickpeas, mixed greens, and avocado (Approx. 450 calories)

  • Snack: Hummus with carrot sticks (Approx. 150 calories)

  • Dinner: Tofu stir-fry with a side of non-dairy milk (Approx. 400 calories)

Total calories: Approximately 1550 calories

Not Woke Meal Plan:

  • Breakfast: Bacon and cheese omelette with a side of toast and cow's milk (Approx. 600 calories)

  • Snack: Chocolate chip muffin (Approx. 400 calories)

  • Lunch: Burger and fries with a milkshake (Approx. 1200 calories)

  • Snack: Cheese and crackers (Approx. 300 calories)

  • Dinner: Spaghetti-topped pizza with a side of garlic bread and a glass of cow's milk (Approx. 800 calories)

Total calories: Approximately 3300 calories

These are rough estimates and may vary depending on specific ingredients and portion sizes.

[–] Guntrigger@sopuli.xyz 7 points 7 months ago (3 children)

Why does it insist on accompanying dinner with a glass of milk?

[–] boredtortoise@lemm.ee 3 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

People who drink milk can include:

  • Not Woke Children: Milk is often a staple in children's diets for its calcium and nutrient content, essential for growth and development.
  • Not Woke Farmers: In rural areas, farmers may drink milk from their own cows or livestock.
  • Not Woke Athletes: Milk is sometimes seen as a source of protein for muscle recovery and growth.
  • Not Woke Health-conscious individuals: Some people drink milk for its calcium and vitamin D content, believing it promotes bone health.
  • Not Woke Movie villains: While not a common trope, some movie villains may be depicted drinking milk in a sinister or unsettling manner, contrasting the innocence associated with milk.
[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 3 points 7 months ago (2 children)
  • Not Woke Movie villains: While not a common trope, some movie villains may be depicted drinking milk in a sinister or unsettling manner, contrasting the innocence associated with milk.

That happened one time!

[–] scutiger@lemmy.world 4 points 7 months ago

You paint a whole house, and nobody calls you a painter. But you drink one glass of milk...

[–] boredtortoise@lemm.ee 3 points 7 months ago (1 children)

No Country for Old Men or A Clockwork Orange

[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 2 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Okay, two times! I haven't seen No Country for Old Men yet. It's on my list, but it keeps getting bumped for more lighthearted stuff.

[–] boredtortoise@lemm.ee 2 points 7 months ago

You can get a milk marathon going, continue to Inglorious Basterds, V for Vendetta, Get Out, Alien, Leon (kinda) and The Boys series

[–] kamiheku@sopuli.xyz 3 points 7 months ago (1 children)

For getting a contrast b/w dairy and non-dairy

[–] Guntrigger@sopuli.xyz 3 points 7 months ago

Well, sure. But Mr. Non-Woke apparently needs cow's milk in all three meals of the day anyway, so it didn't need to have milk with dinner specifically.

[–] DaDragon@kbin.social 1 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Because some people enjoy milk with their food? (I know it’s not the answer you’re going for)

[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 2 points 7 months ago (1 children)

My friend's family would serve milk with ice in it when we were kids.

[–] DaDragon@kbin.social 1 points 7 months ago

Shudder. Not sure I could drink that, honestly

load more comments (15 replies)