this post was submitted on 19 Jul 2024
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Could you possibly be any more egotistical? You are really full of yourself.
I understand completely that I am a cis man and that my sexual preference is for cis women. Why are you trying to force your beliefs down my throat? What defect of personality is it that makes you think that you should decide what I'm allowed to like?
I'm not being defensive. I don't give the first fuck what you think I should like. I'm just trying to help you to understand how utterly toxic you are.
Yeah, I'm the egotistical one, not the cis guy trying to explain why it isn't actually transmisogyny to a trans woman who has studied and experienced this specific form of transmisogyny.
You aren't some static being where people attempting to change your mind about something you haven't investigated is some violation. If that is what it feels like to you maybe you need to do some self reflection, because what I am describing to you is literally just the process of learning.
Edit: also men like you love to force your preference on me. Do you know how many times I've been cornered (because some men like to do that when hitting on someone) and had to be there for a man's significant emotional event after realizing he was attracted to a trans woman? This is me being proactive so some trans woman doesn't have to deal with your freak out if you end up hitting on a trans woman.
Are lesbians bad because they don't want to suck cocks or is it just me because I'm cis and interested in cis women?
Yes, it is you who is egotistical because you believe that you should be able to dictate to me what I should like.
I know plenty of cis and trans lesbians who love to suck cock. Just not men's cocks.
And I am equally suspicious of lesbians who are like "trans men are an exception" because they generally either treat trans men like shit or realize they're bi but only interested in dating and fucking other queer folks.
Not dictating to you what you should like, pointing out that what you're saying doesn't actually make sense when it comes to interacting with women in real life and not just looking up porn categories.
It's still not clear to me what defect of personality it is that makes you think that it's ok to question my preferences.
I'm tired of you trying to ram your beliefs down my throat.
Yeah, I'm defective for having experienced your "preferences" in other men resulting in men being really scary to me upon those men being rejected, and wanting to explain to you that men making sweeping claims about attraction to trans women can put trans women in danger when reality doesn't match up so neatly.
Plus all the connection to stigma culture that reinforces transphobia but that is less acute.
You have never experience, "my preferences" because we have never met. You're lumping me in with the men that you've had bad experiences with which is unfair. I am very much a friend to the LGBTQ+ community. I am perfectly comfortable to say, "I'm flattered but I'm not interested" and I have done so more than once. For me, that's the end of it. No drama. Given the very diverse community I run in (I wrote in another comment that, "my wife is bisexual, my sister is bisexual, my daughter is a lesbian, my son and daughter both have non-binary and trans friends who I regularly spend time with, I have gay friends and lesbian friends, I was a member of the wedding party at a same sex wedding, I am friends with a local transmasc, and I’ve had a pair of transfem friends for more than 50 years.") I find it very useful to be able to say, "Here is who I am and here is who I'm interested in." The people around me seem to appreciate that rather than resent it. Why would you want to pursue someone who said that they weren't interested in you? I don't try to talk lesbians into be interested in me, that would be the height of arrogance on my part.
I am not transphobic. Labelling anyone who doesn't agree with your world view as transphobic really devalues anything else you have to say. I like redheads. I like big butts. I like small boobs. That doesn't mean that I'm brunettephobic or blondephobic or small bottom or big boob phobic.