this post was submitted on 24 Aug 2024
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Semi-tangential. Every time I get downvoted, I move an inch closer to the exit door of this community.
I'm talking about comments rather than posts, of course. And it should go without saying that the comments in question do not contain factual errors or even rudeness. Just pure opinion, expressed civilly.
Downvoting is, almost always, poisonous behavior in an online community. It is just as poisonous as saying "Shut up" to someone in a real-life social situation.
IMO the corporate social networks get this fact better than the literalist geeky types and other well-meaning idealists to be found in this forum.
Obviously my argument is being confirmed by the response to this comment. Seriously guys - I would bet that you're all guys - you'll regret it when you're left with nobody to talk to but other cynics and nihilists and mindless jokers.
I gave you some from a girl to help balance things out!
But I can promise you, from many years net positive on reddit and a not disimilar result here, that you’re not reading your own tone.
Be mindful of the tone, only come off as combative against a near universally disliked topic, and know when you don’t care to curate yourself and are ready for the downvotes.
Your wording here makes you out to be combative, and people are combative in response. Read your own comments as if they’re directed AT you. And look specifically at what’s likely to make you want to argue back. You may even be surprised at what can get net positive response with the right wording.
This is an excellent point, very perceptive and well expressed, and the first time somebody has actually said it. I know it already and I do try to do as you suggest. The problem is that I have a bit of a combative personality so it's a real struggle, especially when I feel I'm choosing my words very intentionally so that nothing is literally insulting or wrong or falsifiable. A combative lawyer basically, what could possibly go wrong? I often wish I could be more emollient and compromising in my attitude to others, I really do admire it when I see it in others. But alas personality is something very hard to change. So yeah, thanks for the insightful and constructive feedback. And take an upvote to add to your overflowing and deserved collection.