Selfhosted
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I think concerns come in two flavours:
With that said, you'll find several large lemmy instances (and many small ones) use cloudflare. While you'll easily find people against its use, you'll find many more people in the self-hosted community using it because it's (typically) free and it works. If you want to use it, and you're ok with the above, then go ahead.
I have a cloudflare tunnel setup for 1 service in my homelab and have it connecting to my reverse proxy so the data between cloudflare and my backend is encrypted separately. I get no malformed requests and no issues from cloudflare, even remote public IP data in the headers.
Everyone mentions this as an issue, and I am sure doing the default of pointing cloudflared at a http local service but it's not the ONLY option.
I'm not quite sure I get what you're getting at. If you're using Cloudflare (for more than just a nameserver), then the client's browser is connecting to Cloudflare via a Cloudflare SSL certificate. Any password (or other data) submitted will be readable by Cloudflare because the encryption is only between the browser and Cloudflare. They then connect to your reverse proxy, which might have SSL or it might be unencrypted. That's a second jump done by re-encrypting the data.
How does the reverse proxy help, when the browser is connecting to Cloudflare not to the reverse proxy?
Fair, I was more thinking from the server side not the client side where cloudflare certs are the ones seen first.