this post was submitted on 16 Jul 2023
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[–] TheControlled@lemmy.world 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This is a true story: My doctor told me this while I was lying in a hospital bed, in the ICU, after trying to kill myself by ODing on pills and alcohol, straps around my wrists and ankles. This was at an extremely nice hospital in Silicon Valley, California.

I was loaded on antipsychotics and a little loopy but I remember telling him that it was sexist bullshit and unhelpful, which made the nurse chuckle.

[–] Riderzz@lemmy.world -1 points 1 year ago

Username checks out.

[–] Lexam@lemmy.ca 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I would love to create a community on here for men's mental health and (actual) issues, but I'm afraid it would get invaded by the toxic masculinity crap.

[–] plumbercraic@lemmy.sdf.org 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Isn't this exactly part of the problem? Men have been gaslit into "being a man" on one side, while also being taught to fear "toxic masculinity" if they try to discuss their problems in group/digital settings. It seems no matter how such a community behaves there will always people that push both of these narratives. But they're not part of the solution, so I'm not sure I'm gonna take them seriously.

[–] Lexam@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Guys being gas lit into "Being man" is the toxic masculinity I am talking about.

[–] NotYourSocialWorker@feddit.nu 1 points 1 year ago

"I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad...", what actually does people think toxic masculinity is? The one you're replying to seems to have been tricked into believing that feminists think that all masculine traits are bad. They are actually listening to the enemy of their own self best interests.

I think there might be some overlap causing confusion. Being protective and problem solving are not inherently bad, but combine it with stuff like dominating, controling and not listening to others, and it can be very harmful. So a person might believe that they are just being protective but since they didn't listen to the other person their actions turns to controling instead.

[–] Foresight@lemmy.ml 0 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

It's almost like both sides are stupid and wrong and just wants to shout at each other without giving any solutions. Both sides just want to be right while society suffers because both sides won't just shut the actual fuck up. Sick of feminist ideology, sick of aggressive males. Why won't you all just shut the fuck up with your bullshit. Especially fuck your egos with your identity politics shite whether your a white nationalist tard or a blue haired woke tard.

[–] Riderzz@lemmy.world -1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

100% agree. Modern day society tells Men to actively express their emotions and feelings without actually providing good, logical advice that helps improves Mens lives and get them out of their depressive states.

Instead of teaching Men to observe and regulate their emotions to become better and find purpose. Now society is encouraging to trap them in an emotional cycle where we need to be dependent on people.

And still society wonders why so many Men are radicalised by gurus like Tate, which is also no good as it comes with mysoginistic opinions and same old conservative beliefs, how Women should be treated.

However, whether people like Tate or not. He definetly has impacted Men and lit a fire underneath. Maybe improved individual lives. After all, Tate saw a weakness in society (Men depression and suicide) and took advantage of it for his own personal gains.

What society needs now is actual Male Role Models. This is where ancient greek philosophy Stoism can be one of the useful solutions to this issue, which should be taught in education systems.

[–] Foresight@lemmy.ml 0 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I don't like the social engineering trying to tell men what to do, how to think and how to behave.

[–] Ghostc1212@sopuli.xyz 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

If men have no positive role models and no framework through which to interact with their emotions and their place in the world, they will find horrible role models like Andrew Tate and come up with crude and self-serving frameworks through which to view the world. Since people find religion cringe for some reason nowadays, personal philosophy and virtue ethics are now our only good option.

[–] Foresight@lemmy.ml 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

How about stop trying to dictate who's role model people follow! How about let people live their lives? If people find help and value to become better then so be it. Who are you to say he is a bad role model? Because he says things you don't like or behaves in a way you don't find appealing.

[–] Ghostc1212@sopuli.xyz 0 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Who are you to say he is a bad role model?

Andrew Tate's entire schtick is being a misogynistic chimpanzee wearing the skin of a man and bragging about how wealthy and sexually successful he is. Anybody who believes this manchild to be a good role model ought to be treated as a laughingstock, much like the man himself. Andrew Tate and people like him capturing the minds of the youth, or young people living a meaningless and depressive existence with no role models or aspirations at all, has direct negative effects on society, and therefore me as well. Therefore, I will continue to tell people to stop following shitty role models like him and to get good ones, because I wanna live in a society where people actually have standards for how they conduct themselves, instead of a society dominated by people like Andrew Tate.

[–] Foresight@lemmy.ml 0 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

So bad because he wrong thinked? Tate bad because he said a word? Please if he helps young men go to the gym and improve mental health then what's the problem but it also highlights a gaping hole in society that hasn't been addressed and neglected by this Western woke ideology, largely the needs of males have been neglected, shunned and ignored.

[–] Ghostc1212@sopuli.xyz 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Because he's a degenerate scam artist who influences young men to do things which are harmful for society. Society needs standards.

Please if he helps young men go to the gym and improve mental health then what's the problem

That's not what Andrew Tate did. Andrew Tate tells men that they are worthless unless they're wealthy, strong, and promiscuous like him, and then extracts money from them so they can attend his "hustle university" and learn surface-level Investipedia knowledge from a moderator on the Andrew Tate discord server.

People like this should absolutely be ostracized. Being mistreated by society does not give any of us an excuse to be fucking stupid.

[–] Riderzz@lemmy.world -1 points 1 year ago

I think that while everything you say is true and you are right, he is a scammer. But it would be also wrong to say he didn't impact a few men in positive light.

He lit a fire under Men to get up and fix their life through anger and agression. Its the only positive I see. True, I have seen more radicalised with fucking cigars in their mouth doing jackshit and ruining themselves, maybe that is fate telling wokes to wake up and see something is wrong. But there are smart men who indeed get motivated by Tate and i've seen body transformation vids too on it.

This is good as an individual to be successful, healthy, happy, agressive, smart, strong, wise. This is freedom. To forget about the noise/distraction and politics and build your own beliefs, opinions and virtues.

I have always believed in taking bits and stuff from everyone and leaving the negative that doesn't benefit me as a person bc I too have to adapt in society.

[–] Riderzz@lemmy.world -2 points 1 year ago

I agree with what you said. However it also worth pointing out that I have seen individual Men going to the gym, improving their mental, physical, emotional and even career after watching a few Tate videos.

The thing is you can use Andrew Tate as a source of motivation whilst not agreeing with his beliefs and opinions. Although, this seems more of a difficult task for some, I managed to do this. Take a bit of red and blue pill to have a better understanding of the world around you.

[–] Riderzz@lemmy.world -1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I agree to this to some extent. However as you say, letting Men live how they want by being free is what modern society have always been telling them. Yet no purpose, no goals, dreams, motivation? Every human needs a mentor to guide them through life. If you look into stoism, you will understand what I am saying. These ancient greek gods knew their stuff and they were emperors and masters for good reason.

[–] Foresight@lemmy.ml -1 points 1 year ago

No lifting weights to gain some muscle isn't toxicmasculineity you fucking warped tards.