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Keep us posted. I am using tailscale, but plan on transitioning to a VPS running a VPN and/or headscale on it. Your scenarios isn't something I'm familiar w/ but might be a good option
I think you can set up a VPN in a way that it doesn't forward all traffic, just specific traffic to one IP or a certain network, and everything else goes out the default route. That would leave you with your regular connection, except if you're talking to your VPS, then it'll go through the tunnel. But that won't help you with the android and multiple VPN apps at the same time.
Maybe you could configure the firewall on the VPS to drop all traffic from the internet, but just accept packets from your home IP address? I mean with most providers your IP is going to change regularly. You'd need some additional logic or write some script. Your VPS would add an exception to its firewall so you can access it, while dropping all other internet traffic by default. That'd be a solution completely without VPNs.
Or if it's just a few simple services... Lock them with some login screen and people would have to log in with username+password to your services.
Split tunneling with wireguard is probably the best way for this.
There are many tutorials, here's an example: https://ssh.sshslowdns.com/wireguard-split-tunnel-config/
This will let you have some things on wiregusard and some not
check out gluetun
might help. i use it for setting a torrent container to use an openvpn container as its only outbound
Thanks for all your tips