I think your best bet would be looking into the CRPG subgenre, though I can't name any specific examples of games with pacifist routes.
this post was submitted on 27 Jul 2025
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Sil (specifically Sil-Q, the most modern fork) is a great Tolkien-esque roguelike in the vein of Angband where pacifism is a first-class citizen. You get a lot of XP just by observing hostiles from the shadows. I highly recommend it!
Also forgot to mention the latest version has tiles support that looks like this: 
So you don't have to play with ASCII graphics. ;)
You end up doing things that would (IMHO) be more fucked up ethically
Example?
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I tried a run like that in New Vegas. I think I got to Primm, and just kept getting tore up too much to be fun.
Not sure if you can count it as a RPG, but Undertalencan be completed "normally" and with a pacifist run and also with a genocide run.
Fairly certain the NPC in Morrowind could theoretically be killed by a combination of his own drain health spell reflected back at him and/or - once he’s out of magicka - dying to fire shield.
In Morrowind, you have to kill a ghost to please the Urshilaku, Dagoth Gares for the Sixth House Base, Dagoth Vemyn for Sunder, and Dagoth Ur/the heart. I guess you could probably cheese reflect spells, but that doesn’t feel quite “true pacifist” to me - just like dragging Eridor everywhere in Oblivion doesn’t quite feel like “pacifism.” You’d also have to do a lot of leveling/side quests to get the Hortator/Nerevarine skip to avoid the inevitable slaughter of Venim, Gothren, the bad Erabenimsim, etc (it’s annoying, Gothren stalled out my “no inventory” run and working on the skip took 5ever)
You could trade the ghost and Gares for Vivec if you wanted, and then not have to do the leveling/side quests.