this post was submitted on 15 Oct 2025
165 points (91.5% liked)

Not The Onion

18374 readers
1751 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
(page 2) 35 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] PattyMcB@lemmy.world 12 points 3 days ago

Billionaires get all the best drugs

[–] stoly@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago

LOL that's not how capitalism works and let's face it: countries aren't interested in space programs anymore

[–] peoplebeproblems@midwest.social 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Yay Elysium!!!! I ALWAYS wanted that movie to be the dystopia we ended up with! It seemed TOO realistic.

Except the med beds will just be normal health care.

[–] Fermion@mander.xyz 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Elysium had it backwards. The billionaires don't want to live in space leaving the workers to live in poverty on the surface. The billionaires want the workers to run space factories while they turn the earth into a big hunting reserve.

Other than the whole "factories being in space" thing I could see where they might enjoy that.

But given the environment in 2045, I'm guessing it's going to be a lot closer to Elysium than Planet Hunt

[–] ZeroCool@lemmy.ca 6 points 3 days ago
[–] DrSleepless@lemmy.world 6 points 3 days ago

Jeff Bezos says a lot of things

[–] northernlights@lemmy.today 5 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Uh oh, did he get on the ketamine wagon too

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 1 points 2 days ago

on the ped/roids

[–] not_that_guy05@lemmy.world 5 points 3 days ago

~~Millions~~ millionaires will be living in space.

[–] Hadriscus@jlai.lu 4 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Look at me say the exact same thing and be thrown out the bar

[–] etherphon@midwest.social 4 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

Why would robots even need to commute why wouldn't they just be there ready to wake up and go? Sorry, are our sex robots going to work for us too? Hmm, I think it would be two different bots.

[–] bitjunkie@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago

It depends on the type of work and how comfortable you are with sloppy seconds

[–] Simulation6@sopuli.xyz 3 points 2 days ago

Has JetBlue ever had an orbital flight? Or was he planning to use SpaceTwitter?

[–] frustrated_phagocytosis@fedia.io 2 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Who is going to live in space to do all menial shit they won't do themselves? Long list of applicants for space plumbers, janitors, trash collectors?

[–] x00z@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago

Just like most of the other capitalist structures: Make the alternative seem worse.

[–] etherphon@midwest.social 2 points 3 days ago

I suppose it would work like working on an oil rig, only with much more hazard pay I would hope. I could see people signing up for a few shifts to make some money. Not me I like grass.

[–] TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 3 days ago

Did he join scientology already?

[–] kbal@fedia.io 1 points 3 days ago

Hooba-dooba-dooba!

load more comments
view more: ‹ prev next ›