XMPP doesn’t seem to be well supported in terms of Windows clients
this post was submitted on 26 Feb 2026
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My parents in their 70's are alright daily driving gajim there
I like xmpp, but it is not a discord alternative. It is a WhatsApp / Signal / iMessage alternative.
It doesn't have 80% of discord features, I use discord a lot and I don't have a single group chat.
Matrix / Element is a way better alternative feature wise.
Whether or not XMPP is a Signal or a Discord replacement is dependant on the client.
For a Discord replacement, there is the Movim XMPP client, which has group audio/video calls, screensharing (w/audio using chromium based browser), support for gifs and videos within the chat, and very soon Discord-like servers with rooms, after which the dev plans to work on drop-in voice chat rooms.
The ever continuing trend of foss enthusiasts having less then no fuckinf clue the FUCK normal people use computers for.
Xmpp is great but you are 100% right. It's not a discord replacement. It never will be. It is court replacement and it is not trying to be a discord replacement. People need to stop trying to force it to be one. The same thing goes with matrix though to a lesser extent.
Matrix at least is trying to be a team's replacement, which is a legitimate alternative to what discord does for the average user.
Matrix has a whole host of other problems that will make and never be a viable alternative. But none of them are technical in nature. It's mostly just the fragmentation will nature of it. And how confusing it is to navigate.
At the moment the only two legitimate replacement options are stoat and fluxer. Stoat is a dead end and unluckly to go anywhere. While fluxer is only like 2 weeks into its open beta just released its code base to the public after a long-ass time of closed development. And barely has enough funding even with their Kickstarter thing. Fluxer has passed 100,000 user Mark already and growing.
It's also the only thing that's actually trying to be an app for your average user. It's actually targeting the same demographic discord was.
Which matters a lot. Matrix xmpp all these other things aren't targeting the same demographic. They are not trying to be a replacement. I mean, I'm sure they're happy to scoop up some new users and help expand their reach a little bit who doesn't want to see their project grow after all.
But all these people trying to push matrix xmpp and what not is like going to a construction site telling a worker. Hey, your pickup truck is old and s***** you should stop using it and go use this nice moped while they look at you. Like you're a f****** retard as they have to lug around a ton and a half of materials and tools everyday in the moped. Why perfectly good means of conveyance will do the job better than the pickup truck as the purpose of a vehicle cannot fully fulfill the same role that the pickup truck fills.
This was voice dictated if the grammar is f***** up. Sorry my brain don't work too good sometimes
i quite liked element as a replacement for whatsapp and discord when i got a few people to switch. just had too much stability issues at the time and they went back. will never get them to switch again...even with ads and age verification crap going on.
Element is still as buggy as ever, unfortunately…
The only realistic alternative I've found so far is Fluxer, and that one is still in Beta. Very promising though.
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The main complaints about Matrix I've heard though are about behind the scenes stuff rather than features, which the video touches on:
But there are some reasons why I think XMPP is superior. In Matrix, when you join a room, your server downloads and stores the entire history of that room. If someone on a federated server posts illegal content in a room you're in, your server is now hosting it, and you are liable. Whereas in XMPP, messages are relayed in real time. Group chat, MU history stays on your server hosting that room. So your server only stores messages for your users which means that no content caching there is no content caching from other servers. This is a fundamental architectural difference which makes the XMPP protocol better in my opinion.
Personally I don't know that much about it but I briefly looked into what it would take to write a client for Matrix a few years ago and it seemed pretty daunting to work with. Maybe it would be possible to write software that implements more Discord features on top of XMPP to have something that works more smoothly.
Funny enough there is a layer for discord like stuff adding into https://movim.eu/ which relies on the backed of an XMPP server.
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I'm already self-hosting a XMPP and a Matrix server, just in case. A shame that most of the group chats I've found there are about free software, assorted geekery, but not much of what I'd usually find on Discord - hopefully that changes in a few years.
Plant the first seed and create those groups.
Fair that! Only problem is, I don't have any acquaintances, but if I ever fix that, then maybe we can work on that.
This is always the problem. Internet folk are normal now, they dont have tech skills. In ye olden time we were used to irc and mumble and had no problem switching to other clients if needed. Now people freak out that they need to make a new account somewhere else to leave discord and good luck explaining something like Matrix to them!
I'll join.
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I want something that works like Discord for my gaming group (~120 people) and is self-hostable with a single „docker-compose up -d“.
But I started looking regularly for alternatives, and we will get there :)
It's not quite as simple as a single docker compose, but the Element Server Suite for hosting a matrix home server (synapse) was fairly simple to get working.
What was your secret to get it working? I've been trying to get it running for 2 weeks following the official guide. I'm able to create an admin user via the CLI, but when I try to go to any of the subdomains I've created, I either get a 404 or the TLS handshake fails to complete. The people behind ESS are very clear that they do not offer any support and I haven't been able to find an answer to this problem anywhere.
Ok, so that sounds like either a DNS issue or a reverse proxy issue. Did you configure your domain/subdomains to point to the public IP address of where you're setting things up? Are you using the reverse proxy in the guide or do you already have a reverse proxy and you're adding ESS domains to it? Did you configure port forwarding on your router?
I have had issues with accessing my locally hosted services via domain name while on the same network. My router doesn't like to route internal traffic back to its own WAN port. Can you access it from something on a different network (cellular data)?
Sorry for the delayed response, things have been wildly busy for me.
I did configure my domains as instructed, and they do resolve to the expected IP address. I don't have an already existing reverse proxy, so I was just following along with what the guide was telling me to do. That said, this may be the issue, because I don't recall seeing any specific set up for the included reverse proxy and I've been through that guide 3 times. I haven't configured port forwarding on my router since I'm using a Hetzner VPS for this, but I did make sure to open up the required ports on the firewall.
Also, the way to include additional config files tripped me up like crazy for a good few hours, and then how to format them tripped me up for even longer, for options they don't have examples for (like automatically joining any new accounts to a room, for example).
If you've got specific options you're trying to set, I'm happy to help if I can. The documentation is atrocious for this bit, so if you're not a kubernetes pro (I am definitely not) it is confusing!
Alright that gives me a good idea what your working with.
I am running it along side some other projects, so I already had a reverse proxy set up, so I didn't look closely at the other parts of the guide in that section.
If you want to be able to use this server for other hosting in the future, you may want to set up a reverse proxy. I can give some advice about that if you're interested!
In your case, if the only thing you ever want to host on this box is Matrix, you don't need a reverse proxy. You should be able to do the steps here and it should result in a working deployment.
It looks like that should give you a tls.yaml file, which you need to include when issuing the helm command to deploy everything. This one:
helm upgrade --install --namespace "ess" ess oci://ghcr.io/element-hq/ess-helm/matrix-stack -f ~/ess-config-values/hostnames.yaml <optional additional values files to pass> --wait
You need to make sure that in the section, you include:
-f ~/ess-config-values/tls.yaml
So your command would be this, if you have no additional yaml files, and if you do, simply put "-f path/to/file" at the end, right before the "--wait":
helm upgrade --install --namespace "ess" ess oci://ghcr.io/element-hq/ess-helm/matrix-stack -f ~/ess-config-values/hostnames.yaml -f ~/ess-config-values/tls.yaml --wait
Nothing will ever be just "docker compose up" but checkout movim. I think it's good. Haven't used it myself yet.
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My only resistance to leaving discord is that it’s where 99% of my gaming communities are. There’s no way I’m convincing hundreds of people to move off to something I self host, or to self host themselves. It’s just not feasible.
You could self host it anyway and just wait for the slow boil over at Discord to make the case for you. Surely they have only just begun making it worse.
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What's Lemmy's opinion on Fluxer?
That there's no shortage of wheels being reinvented, and that it takes insights developed over decades to be relevant in this field. To avoid.
I've seen this posted several times and this is the second time I've tried to access their self-hosting docs and get a 404. Where's everyone going for installation instructions?
Googling I got their docs and a github for running through docker, the docs which are empty, and the docker that has the help of claude code.
I try to not poo poo folks working on projects too much, but like why am I here over XMPP or Matrix?
That github looks like a fork of the original code. I never heard of fluxer so I can't really trust it since I've only ever heard people gathering opinions rather than reviews, a fork even less so. So for my honest opinion, it's a no for me since it seems like a very round about way to onboard anyone who wants to self-host.
Since we're here, I've tried giving stoat.chat a go and got it semi-working but the way they have the project set up, there's a lot of optional "bloat" that gets tacked on from the build.
What I had success with, was Continuwuity. Their docs were so good, I was not only able to set up chat but also new and legacy voice and video under 4 hours.
Yeah that is yucky, seems like self hosting hasn't really been at the forefront of intention for the project. From the looks of it, them being in Sweden it might have started as a "buy EU" sort of discord clone that was pulled into the death of discord conversation with the ID stuff.
Interesting times 🫠
Curious your thoughts on stoat, that came out of revolt correct? What sorts of bloat did you find?
4 is definitely a good benchmark for self hosting! lol Have you run Synapse, and how did that compare?
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It's a new project (as far as I can tell it just went public a few weeks ago) they have exploded in popularity in the last week and they are amid migrating their backed hosting provider ATM, they have been having service interruptions for the last couple of days
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The sentiment I keep seeing is that it's vibe coded, though the dev claims that AI was used but not in any core components. It's one I'll be waiting out personally, the whole huntarr situation has me pretty skeptical of any new projects
I think generally more positive than negative, but hesitant. There are so many different competing apps and discord copies that have risen and fallen, it's hard to really get attached to any that have little movement in fighting the network effect.
Seeing it already has the beginnings of enshitification with freemium features, while federation is "in development", particularly in communities like lemmy the question become why pick this over something that already exists and is an open standard?
Like looking at the "plutonium" page, it's clear they want to copy the features of discord nitro, and if we are to fight the network effect fight with the energy of discord's recent fuck up, I would rather land on XMPP or Matrix, if I have any push.
There are so many different competing apps and discord copies that have risen and fallen, it’s hard to really get attached to any that have little movement in fighting the network effect.
In other words, you are saying that there is too much discord in this space?
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- Self-hosting guide appears missing
- Other guides have crazy writing errors
- Setup looks convoluted.
What I've seen makes me bet I could be dragging iso27002 out and marking all the rules it breaks. ..and the devs won't know what that means.
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Acronyms, initialisms, abbreviations, contractions, and other phrases which expand to something larger, that I've seen in this thread:
| Fewer Letters | More Letters |
|---|---|
| DNS | Domain Name Service/System |
| HTTP | Hypertext Transfer Protocol, the Web |
| IP | Internet Protocol |
| SSL | Secure Sockets Layer, for transparent encryption |
| TCP | Transmission Control Protocol, most often over IP |
| TLS | Transport Layer Security, supersedes SSL |
| UDP | User Datagram Protocol, for real-time communications |
| VPS | Virtual Private Server (opposed to shared hosting) |
| XMPP | Extensible Messaging and Presence Protocol ('Jabber') for open instant messaging |
| nginx | Popular HTTP server |
8 acronyms in this thread; the most compressed thread commented on today has 13 acronyms.
[Thread #120 for this comm, first seen 26th Feb 2026, 20:20] [FAQ] [Full list] [Contact] [Source code]
Great bot
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