this post was submitted on 04 Jun 2026
135 points (100.0% liked)

Not The Onion

21647 readers
1329 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, ableist, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
 

cross-posted from: https://news.abolish.capital/post/54243

Walking through the savanna-woodland landscape of Boé National Park, Guinea-Bissau, you might encounter a tree covered in gnarled scars, with an accumulation of rocks surrounding its base.


From Biology News - Evolution, Cell theory, Gene theory, Microbiology, Biotechnology via This RSS Feed.

top 28 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] quick_snail@feddit.nl 0 points 3 hours ago

Article doesn't load

[–] gnate@lemmy.world 3 points 12 hours ago

They're inventing cricket!

[–] fullsquare@awful.systems 95 points 1 day ago

god forbid a man has hobbies

[–] zakobjoa@lemmy.world 79 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Just me and the homies meeting up to throw rocks at our rock tree.

Journal: being super judgemental for no reason.

[–] JohnnyEnzyme@piefed.social 5 points 21 hours ago

Journal: being super judgemental for no reason.

Just scientific method at work, methinks.

[–] makeshiftreaper@lemmy.world 52 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I've done dumber shit with my bros and theoretically we have higher order thinking

Theoretically

[–] Treczoks@lemmy.world 18 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

Have you ever followed what Muslims do on the Hadj? They throw stones at three pillars representing Satan. Maybe the monkeys have invented religion?

[–] Viceversa@lemmy.world 3 points 22 hours ago (2 children)

Pillars? I thought they throw stones to a giant black cube

[–] Treczoks@lemmy.world 7 points 20 hours ago

Nope. That cube is the thing they walk around seven times, but on another day.

[–] hansolo@lemmy.today 6 points 21 hours ago

It's pillars. The cube is what they pray towards.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stoning_of_the_Devil

[–] Janx@piefed.social 43 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Because fuck that specific tree. 🖕

[–] Thassodar@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 day ago

Man FUCK that tree! My homie fell off that tree once, hit his head pretty bad, never been the same so... FUCK that tree!

[–] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 32 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Sounds suspiciously similar to archery, hatchet throwing, knife throwing, and all other target practice hobbies.

[–] Viceversa@lemmy.world 3 points 22 hours ago (2 children)

But why one specific tree?

[–] clif@lemmy.world 8 points 21 hours ago

Because fuck that tree in particular.

[–] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 2 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

How else are they going to compare shots unless they aim at the same target?

[–] Viceversa@lemmy.world 1 points 21 hours ago

You can throw stones several times to any other tree

[–] JohnnyEnzyme@piefed.social 1 points 21 hours ago

That's what I was thinking. Their forebears settled upon a favorite tree(s), it caught on in popularity, got passed down, and all that. I mean, it's as good a hypothesis as anything else, far as I know.

[–] mech@feddit.org 23 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] Imperious_melange@lemmy.world 12 points 1 day ago

Chimps together strong.

[–] Contingencyfork@lemmy.world 19 points 1 day ago

'Why do teenagers kick the can down the same lane every year?'

Because it's what they've always done.

[–] silly_goose@lemmy.today 4 points 21 hours ago

because passing time without a smartphone is just too darn hard.

[–] Soulphite@reddthat.com 6 points 1 day ago

The hairless ape is fascinated by things the hairy apes do. Why?

[–] Gust@piefed.social 3 points 21 hours ago

What a strange thing to do. Completely unrelated, I'm gonna go find some smooth stones to skip on a lake because it looks cool and I like the sound

[–] Jerb322@lemmy.world 2 points 21 hours ago* (last edited 21 hours ago)

Does it make a loud noise? They also stomp on some tree trunks to make a loud drumming sound. Or a visual mark for others to see, maybe.Territorial thing.

[–] Brummbaer@pawb.social 2 points 21 hours ago

When we discover that this is basically religion, a lot of people will be really confused and in denial.