this post was submitted on 11 Mar 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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That's not all they do
>Be at home very early one morning, only my brother and I are awake, pitch black outside
>Dogs are out (an idiotic water pointer and a fat beagle)
>Beagle starts baying, pointer starts whimpering
>l open the door for them, they don't move, both looking at one section of the porch, frozen
>step outside, turn on the light, my brother thinks its a burglar, is carrying the fireplace poker
>Opossum hisses
>Beagle bays again, pointer hides behind me
>Brother freaks, swings the poker, hits me in the head
>I go down
>Opossum hisses louder, starts shitting everywhere
>I'm shouting
>My brother's shouting
>Beagle passes out
>Pointer tries to hide behind my prone body
>Opossum waddles back into the woods
>Shit and blood are everywhere

Not even once

top 7 comments
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[–] Rekonok@sh.itjust.works 39 points 8 months ago
[–] lvxferre@mander.xyz 17 points 8 months ago (1 children)

No animals were harmed in this story. Except Anon.

[–] THE_ANTIHERO@lemmy.today 6 points 8 months ago

Ah so nothing bad happened

[–] PunnyName@lemmy.world 13 points 8 months ago

Beagle passes out

Lol

[–] lingh0e@sh.itjust.works 4 points 8 months ago (1 children)
[–] jmiller@lemm.ee 15 points 8 months ago (1 children)
[–] lingh0e@sh.itjust.works 4 points 8 months ago

Huh. Thank you for my lesson of the day!