Selfhosted
A place to share alternatives to popular online services that can be self-hosted without giving up privacy or locking you into a service you don't control.
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XMPP clients for Android are great, for iOS a bit less so. On Windows / Linux Gajim is probably the best option right now. JoinJabber.org has a good list of up to date clients (do not use Pidgin, it's horrible and super outdated).
In general the main downside compared to Discord is the lack of voice-channels. 1:1 voice or video calls work great with the Android clients and group calls are partially supported in some desktop clients (that is currently very active field of development for XMPP clients).
Snikket seems to be it for iOS. But it does work pretty well, I haven't run into any issues with it.
For Windows well, nothing does voice as far as I know.
Voice call implementation in Gajim is only waiting for an upstream improvement, it is already working otherwise. Sadly upstream seems slow in fixing this.
You can try this unofficial Windows version of Dino though, which supports calls: https://github.com/mxlgv/dino
Edit: and there is of course always Movim, which works fine in most browsers and supports 1:1 calls.
Cool, didn't know about Dino, thanks!