this post was submitted on 19 Nov 2024
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Strong disagree on parental controls. As a parent, if I don't trust my kids, they won't get a device. Period. If I trust them, they will get a device without any limitations. Period.
I really don't see the point in parental controls, all it does is encourage kids to learn how to get around parental controls. Instead of that, teach kids what it takes to earn your trust and go that route.
I'm a parent, and here are my only controls:
We do no internet filters, no enforced time limits (they have their own timers though), and no locks on specific programs. Either I trust them with everything or nothing. They know what they're allowed to use, and they know the consequences.
Oh boy, good luck with that outlook in today's age. You can trust them to get into shit, I believe helicopter parenting has become prevalent because we've lost the "village" it takes to raise a kid. You used to be able to trust a parent to step in if they were over at someone else's house and a discussion got nasty or a fight broke out. You would have neighbors who looked after the kids and would let you know if they were up to some shit. Now the kids talk on discord and other apps, completely unsupervised or at times even inaccessible (after the fact) if they've set it up right. You've got algorithm's trained on millions of users to suck your kids in, never ending entertainment with minimal effort.
As a parent, who is completely conscious of everything going on around social media and technology, you will absolutely need to step in. Most adults can't even handle it, you WILL have to be the parent who sets boundaries on the stimuli their brain craves but has a negative impact on their overall health. You don't instill healthy eating into a child by giving them unlimited money and telling them to make their own decisions. You work with them, share your experience, let them cook sometimes but monitor over and see the results of their activity. Are they making healthy choices or ordering door dash?
Make it more difficult for them by setting restrictions they have to learn to bypass, even if it feels ridiculous it's a whole different setup for effort-reward. It will interest them into getting into deeper components of technology and how everything works. It's absolutely what kids are suppose to do, just like we always figure out a way to get away with shit which ultimately improves various skills.
Nah, the point is that technical limitations are no substitute for actual in-person supervision. I don't have a lock on the sweets cabinet but that doesn't mean my kids can eat unlimited sweets.
lol I don't want to get lost in analogies, but these sweets are in their pocket. Their friends are giving them new brands and better sweets. You know what sweets you have in the cabinet, you have no idea how many sweets your kid is eating per day. This is all pretty generic through when considering the entire childhood. Of course you're gonna be there and watch your kid so they're not over doing it at age 4, but 12+? Eh, it's an uphill battle you should stay vigilant on till they're legally and showing at least basic adult responsibility.
If you're nearby your kid when you're in the park or they're at school interacting with other kids (etc), you're gonna be curious and want to make sure they're doing alright but just kinda peripheral paying attention to their actions while mingling yourself. It can be treated respectfully and non intrusively by just checking your router (other devices), what kind of traffic is coming in and out (generic safety), and maybe something along the lines of just asking to see their app activity in their account to get an idea of how they're spending their time without diving right into their private data.
I don't really understand the disconnect going on here and maybe everyone is a lot more innocent than I was. I for sure was up to some bullshit online at a young age and that was dial-up. We're really looking at everything like how the election went, social influencers, and young people getting radicalized online and just throwing our hands up saying it's all good?