sugar_in_your_tea

Go to an MVNO, and you can get unlimited data for $25 or so.

Until we collectively decided to be jerks about it in the early 2000s and called them "freedom fries" and "freedom toast." I think it's so weird that we're closer to the British than the French when France totally helped us out in the early days.

Fortunately my area doesn't allow this nonsense, but I'd totally be down for some infrastructure vandalism if they ever try.

It's also kind of Dutch.

Yup, I actually refuse to allow them to play any games with MTX, at least for now (they're still young). So Fortnite et al are outright banned in my house because I don't want them getting used to that environment just yet. We'll probably get there, but they're haven't yet learned how to manage money properly and defer gratification, and I don't think the consequences of MTX are steep enough to properly teach that lesson. And this isn't just for them, I ban myself as well, and I'd like to ban my wife, but she gets to make her own choices since she's an adult.

I totally give them money they can spend on other things, and my older kid has absolutely learned that spending it all at once is a poor choice, but they're still too impulsive for me to let them loose on predatory games.

As a parent, who is completely conscious of everything going on around social media and technology, you will absolutely need to step in

Oh absolutely. My point is that supervision should be as low-touch as possible. Let kids screw up when the stakes are low so they don't screw up later when the stakes are higher.

As a kid, I got into things I shouldn't have online, mostly because we only had dialup so I would wait until everyone was in bed to use the computer so I didn't disrupt phone calls coming in. I ended up getting caught, had a productive talk, and learned what to avoid. That was really effective for me, and the lack of firm guardrails got me interested in learning to computers worked, so I taught myself basic webdev as a teen, which launched me into a software dev role.

If we had strict rules preventing computer use, yes, I probably wouldn't have gotten into things I shouldn't, but I also wouldn't have had the freedom to teach myself software dev and probably wouldn't have gotten interested in it.

you WILL have to be the parent who sets boundaries on the stimuli their brain craves but has a negative impact on their overall health

Oh, and I certainly do, but I use a carrot and stick approach rather than a "guardrails" approach. I tell them what the rules are, but put nothing in place to prevent them from breaking the rules, and when they do (and they will), I'll completely remove access for a time after a discussion about why the rules exist. For example:

• video games - we have a system where the kids "earn" playtime (we do it by reading books), and if they go beyond their allotted playtime (we have a max of 2hrs/day), they completely lose the privilege (I take the console away)
• bedtime - we got them watches w/ games on them and told them they couldn't use them at night; we caught them using them at night, but let them continue and when they were late getting up, we pointed at the watch as the issue and took it away for a while; now they don't stay up nearly as late w/ their watches
• coming home on time - kid wanted to go to the park alone, so we told them when to be back; they came back late, so I took away their bicycle (that's how they got there) for a while saying I don't trust them to come back on time; now they come back on time, and they can ride their bicycle pretty much wherever they want (we have boundaries)

That's how I was raised, and I found it incredibly effective. I almost never had things taken away as well, because once they showed they were willing to, I tended to listen and follow the rules.

You don’t instill healthy eating into a child by giving them unlimited money and telling them to make their own decisions.

Sure, but you also don't instill healthy eating habits by not letting them make poor choices either. Let kids fail and fail hard (i.e. don't catch them), but be there to help them back up.

For example, let them eat as much Halloween candy as they want for one day, and then when they inevitably get a stomach ache, they'll learn why moderation is important. Likewise with money, if they waste it all on something stupid and don't have enough for what they really want, they'll learn the value of delayed gratification.

The more natural and immediate the consequence, the more effective it is at teaching them self-discipline.

Obviously, protect them from the worst harms (e.g. we don't let our kids play w/ knives or fire), but let them try and fail while the stakes are low.

That's completely fair. IMO, engaged parent > parental controls > absentee parent.

Their anti-cheat

Honestly, this seams a bit unfair. My understanding is that VAC is free or very inexpensive and pretty decent, while other options are potentially better for some cases and more expensive. Valve making a reasonable anti-cheat available is a good thing IMO.

So it existing is a good thing, it just may be the wrong fit for a given game (e.g. more popular games probably need a more intense anti-cheat).

If a game isn't detecting cheaters well enough, blame the game, not the anti-cheat system it uses.

Strong disagree on parental controls. As a parent, if I don't trust my kids, they won't get a device. Period. If I trust them, they will get a device without any limitations. Period.

I really don't see the point in parental controls, all it does is encourage kids to learn how to get around parental controls. Instead of that, teach kids what it takes to earn your trust and go that route.

I'm a parent, and here are my only controls:

• Switch - passcode because my 4yo kept playing games when not allowed; I told the older kids the code, and will probably remove it soon
• my computers passwords - when my kids are allowed to play games or whatever, I'll unlock it and tell them what they can and can't use it for, with zero controls other than the underlying threat of losing privileges entirely if they misuse it
• tablet - each has a passcode, but the kids don't use them much (only on trips)
• TV - again, 4yo kept watching when not allowed, and the older kids watched as well (but only when the 4yo did it), so they all lost access; will probably remove this soon

We do no internet filters, no enforced time limits (they have their own timers though), and no locks on specific programs. Either I trust them with everything or nothing. They know what they're allowed to use, and they know the consequences.

I used the Arch Wiki entry about WireGuard. The trickiest part was some MTU nonsense.

Tailscale is a bit simpler and I think I just figured it out with some docs on their website.

Nah, put a traffic cone on 'em.

Why not?