this post was submitted on 21 Feb 2025
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Arranged marriages have better results than love based ones in many cultures. It turns out having all your family who have had kids and been married have a clearer understanding of the couples compatibility than those in love.
Love will make you overlook the thing that your auntie would zero in on as a long term problem.
I can see the logic. The realities of day to day life and managing a household together are a considerably larger presence than most people realize until they're shoulder deep into adult life.
My cousin was miserable after his first year in marriage. Our grandmother, who was lovely but not perceptive, told him not to marry her after meeting her the first time because she was dismissive of his perspective. My cousin didn’t think this was an issue until the honeymoon period wore off and then realized his new wife never thought he knew anything.
They lasted 6 years.
For context, see research by Myers, D., 1993 (which I can't find a link to at the moment) about differences in satisfaction in couples in India in arranged marriages and couples in Amerikkka in marriages of choice, and compare it with the later research Myers, 2005.
More specifically to your statement about auntie zeroing in on something, see MacDonald & Ross, 1999.