this post was submitted on 13 Apr 2025
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Ask the people who deliberately work to make shared spaces uncomfortable for particular groups of people.
What does that even mean? What kind of spaces and how you are supposed to be uncomfortable?
It's the sexist comments, boomer humor, male-centric views, the mansplaining, the chauvinism, the micro-aggressions, lack of empathy from a lack of perspective, the oversimplification without nuance, etc. All that generally makes women uncomfortable and sometimes it's a bit much. Sometimes you want to forget those exist and focus on what matters to you with like-minded people.
It's the same for us gay folks. I know I can't just bring up whatever gay topic in a straight group where not everyone can relate, offer their first hand experience, or might find it weird because it's not part of their lives.
Trying to concentrate similar people to discuss common topics is, at the very worst, a constructive division.
This is not about arguments, bro. Or which ones do you mean? And safe spaces are meant to be non-confrontational. You can disagree, but you do it respectfully, without smug attitudes.
I can't tell if your question is in good faith or not because of how awkwardly it's worded, but if you're asking how women can feel uncomfortable online, you're obviously not a woman, so enjoy that I guess.
I can't imagine and no one explains. If my words are weird, yours are buzzing my brain also...
Have you ever really talked to women who use online spaces a lot? Like a real conversation, face-to-face or in person. Serious question.
edit: the soft chirping of distant crickets provide me all the answers I need.
There are a lot of things you probably aren't even aware of that are normal for women, I would really encourage you to broaden your social sphere and make friends of other genders and backgrounds and listen to what other people deal with.
You probably don't even know how much harassment and threats you would face just being a woman online, it's not exaggerated, there are a LOT of people who really enjoy making women feel unsafe, it's a game to them. Most girls I know hide their identities online and pretend to be men. Imagine not being able to express yourself freely even on the internet because you don't want to feel unsafe or hated.
I am not a woman but I have many female friends and family members and a partner who talk about the things they deal with, so let me give a few examples of things you may deal with as a woman online or off, in increasing levels of severity and threat level:
There are a lot of social "rules" that women have to deal with, and a lot of men aren't even aware of them. Like how they never leave drinks unattended when out with friends. When being dropped off at their house, they ask the driver to wait until they get all the way inside with the door closed before the driver leaves.
I often hesitate to give these kinds of examples because invariably there will be someone who claims it's all lies or exaggerated, or they dismiss it and say "I wish I got that kind of attention online!" and other mind-meltingly dense, stupid or aggressive takes. This is why I asked if you have talked to real women you know about their experiences, because they don't talk about this stuff, particularly online to people they aren't close to. As soon as you get close to any women you learn exactly how much sexual predation they endure their whole lives and yeah, they do "get used it" in that they don't go around telling everyone about every interaction. 1 out of 5 women are raped or have been assaulted/attempted rape. Of these victims, 1 out of 3 had it happen between ages of 11 and 17.
Most women who are murdered are murdered by a spouse, boyfriend, acquaintance or someone who met them once or twice.
Women have very good reason to feel afraid of strangers, online or off, if you're actually interested in learning more and reading actual examples there is a WEALTH of information online and plenty of women's stories on major forums, from Lemmy to Reddit to twitter threads.