Imagine a cyclist who came upon some birds blocking the cycle path, pulled out a pocket knife, and started stabbing them so they could get through 20 seconds faster.

Not to deny the overall message, but now I want to see a comic strip about that with an unhinged cyclist telling car-persons' arguments in the most weird way while trashing the poor bird with any next sentence.

CYCLIST: Let me tell you about a cycling efficiency. Keeping a speed doesn't consume as much energy as constantly speeding up and slowing down, as in the jam you've selfishly caused. When I'm hopping on a bike I expect to get from point A to point B in a set amount of time, on a speed aknowledged by the road signs if not a bit faster, as set by a road authority. The infrastructure built exclusively for my mode of transportation doesn't consider surprise deviations, and as a daily driver I should not care for them too. There are two types of obstacles, and I'm completely in my right to drive over those I couldn't predict or couldn't see in time as it's their own problem that unlike type 2 obstacle they haven't made themselves visible for me to react as it's their responsibility to do so. That is not an isolated instance I'm angry at, but a systemic issue that I shall double down on every occasion because giving them a step means they'd take a mile from us, cyclists, the cowboys on gears. Allowing you to jaywalk like that on my lane would mean losing the world I love and brought up to be in. You are a destroyer of the cycling civilization, and it's only you to blame for what's coming to you.