this post was submitted on 15 Aug 2025
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> pretending to be a girl online so that i can get just a little attention from a human being for once
> talking to this guy, seems really sweet and we have a bunch of common interests
> mfw i actually start to really care about this guy
> he alludes to abandonment issues in his past
> ohno.jpg
> panic, tell him i have to go to bed
> try to go to bed but can't sleep from guilt
> can't bring myself to message him the truth that i am a girlpretender attention whore
> decide just blocking him is the least painful option for both of us
am i a bad person?
I bet everyone has pretended to be the opposite sex online. Maybe just for the giggles. But anyone who does that all the time, straight to hell.
That's kind of a weird assumption. What qualifies as pretending? I don't think I have ever done that.
I'm a woman on Lemmy with a gender-neutral username, which means I don't have to try to "pretend" anything - people assume I'm a guy by default. Hell, it also happened back when I was on Reddit and used a female-coded username, which is even more confusing.
I can only imagine the gender performances these guys are putting on if they're able to easily convince others that they're women. Some people apparently take "there are no women on the internet" literally and can't seem to process when women appear online (in a non-porn context, at least. Which is really disheartening.) I've had people full-on argue with me that I couldn't really be female, because I once posted a picture that included my hand and apparently it "wasn't feminine enough." (That's what I get for keeping my nails short and disliking nail polish, I guess. Who knew even women's hands are expecting to conform to rigid gender expectations?)
Hello, fellow woman. Would you like to go to the bathroom together and have periods?
Sorry, I already had my period at lunch. Maybe later for dinner periods?
There can't be women online, that's impossible! Websites aren't pointlessly gendered!
Being a woman is gay, so you must be fake.
Conclusion, women on the internet are fake and gay.
Fellas, is it gay to be a woman?
back on reddit almost everyone was a white young middle class male westerner, so that was my default assumption. and i rarely read usernames there.
lemmy breaks this for me because it sounds like people want to be themselves much more. feels way more free and diverse, and its nice.
Based on my All feed everyone on Lemmy is either American or, for some reason, German.
plenty of people from elsewhere around. lemmy.world has a big us bias though.
Say you're a girl when you aren't a girl in order to fool the other person into thinking that you're a girl
So if men playing as female avatars in games don't count (that openly admit to it), then I would say it's probably a very small group of men who actually do that.