this post was submitted on 15 Aug 2025

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Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works

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Anon puts himself out there (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 1 month ago by Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works to c/greentext@sh.itjust.works

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[–] janus2@lemmy.zip 225 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (5 children)

> pretending to be a girl online so that i can get just a little attention from a human being for once
> talking to this guy, seems really sweet and we have a bunch of common interests
> mfw i actually start to really care about this guy
> he alludes to abandonment issues in his past
> ohno.jpg
> panic, tell him i have to go to bed
> try to go to bed but can't sleep from guilt
> can't bring myself to message him the truth that i am a girlpretender attention whore
> decide just blocking him is the least painful option for both of us
am i a bad person?

[–] ByteJunk@lemmy.world 69 points 1 month ago

YTA.

[–] Samsy@lemmy.ml 24 points 1 month ago (7 children)

I bet everyone has pretended to be the opposite sex online. Maybe just for the giggles. But anyone who does that all the time, straight to hell.

[–] janus2@lemmy.zip 45 points 1 month ago (1 children)

or straight to therapy and hopefully a trans supportive community haha (not that it would excuse catfishing)

[–] Diurnambule@jlai.lu 20 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I try to not reveal my gender when speaking online. I don't fell it pertinent and it is nice to be able to act which ever role you chose to at the moment.

[–] burntbacon@discuss.tchncs.de 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Bingo, bango! Whenever gender comes up, I flip a coin for what I'll answer. With rare exception, gender is meaningless in most places and is only being used by the other side as a red herring at best.

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[–] abfarid@startrek.website 17 points 1 month ago (3 children)

That's kind of a weird assumption. What qualifies as pretending? I don't think I have ever done that.

[–] Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world 25 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (6 children)

I'm a woman on Lemmy with a gender-neutral username, which means I don't have to try to "pretend" anything - people assume I'm a guy by default. Hell, it also happened back when I was on Reddit and used a female-coded username, which is even more confusing.

I can only imagine the gender performances these guys are putting on if they're able to easily convince others that they're women. Some people apparently take "there are no women on the internet" literally and can't seem to process when women appear online (in a non-porn context, at least. Which is really disheartening.) I've had people full-on argue with me that I couldn't really be female, because I once posted a picture that included my hand and apparently it "wasn't feminine enough." (That's what I get for keeping my nails short and disliking nail polish, I guess. Who knew even women's hands are expecting to conform to rigid gender expectations?)

[–] Malfeasant@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)

imagine the gender performances these guys are putting on

Hello, fellow woman. Would you like to go to the bathroom together and have periods?

[–] MotoAsh@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

Sorry, I already had my period at lunch. Maybe later for dinner periods?

[–] stingpie@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago

There can't be women online, that's impossible! Websites aren't pointlessly gendered!

[–] mr_satan@lemmy.zip 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Being a woman is gay, so you must be fake.

Conclusion, women on the internet are fake and gay.

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[–] TheSlad@sh.itjust.works 16 points 1 month ago (5 children)

I never have on purpose, but in games i like to play as female characters. This was very useful in runescape back in the mid-2000s. Desperate guys would just asume you were a girl IRL and give you free shit asking to be your boyfriend.

[–] Malfeasant@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

I play guitar hero as Casey Lynch. I figure why play as who you look like when you can play as who you want to look at?

If I were going for accuracy to body type, I'd have to pick Lars Umlaut...

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[–] ryedaft@sh.itjust.works 161 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Just having a chill conversation with someone online.

They tell me that they've had their heart broken in the past and they're very sensitive.

mfw I had no idea this was a date is this person completely bonkers

[–] Mac@mander.xyz 48 points 1 month ago (1 children)

that's okay, I'll be nice to you!

This you? 🧐

[–] ryedaft@sh.itjust.works 28 points 1 month ago

I would absolutely say something like that while freaking out - even though this is online and I'm not in any danger

[–] Rachelhazideas@lemmy.world 46 points 1 month ago (5 children)

Because men don't have a strong enough social support system to have cathartic talks about their emotions. Because women aren't willing to disproportionately shoulder emotional labor anymore.

The patriarchy hurts everyone. Normalize discussing mental health among men. Don't let stigma stop you from telling your friends from how much they mean to you and how you're here if they need to talk.

[–] exasperation@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Don't let stigma stop you

Fully recognizing that my initial reaction to the word "stigma" makes me part of the problem.

[–] Ashen44@lemmy.ca 24 points 1 month ago

stigma love and compassion into this relationship lmao gottem

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[–] Pulptastic@midwest.social 43 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Too much crazy too fast. You gotta sit on that shit for a while, and then let it out slowly.

[–] echodot@feddit.uk 25 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I got to "she has to go to bed" before I realised that this was all the same day.

Trauma dumping can be cathartic but perhaps maybe don't do it within the first two hours of having met someone. Also don't do it too much because your problems aren't there problems.

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[–] lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org 8 points 1 month ago

I guess wait until the afternoon or something then?

[–] gedhrel@lemmy.world 36 points 1 month ago

Unsolicited "good morning message" - is that what it's called now?

[–] j4k3@lemmy.world 34 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Never have I ever met someone real-life online 🍻

[–] Bonsoir@lemmy.ca 30 points 1 month ago (2 children)

That's because online people aren't real. All paid actors and bots (sometimes both).

[–] Natanael@infosec.pub 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Even the dogs are FBI agents

[–] FauxLiving@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

... and don't get me started on the "birds"

[–] latenightnoir@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 1 month ago

ActorTron 5000

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[–] Flax_vert@feddit.uk 26 points 1 month ago

It was someone in China working for a game company trying to flirt with you to get you to sign up and play their game with them

[–] steeznson@lemmy.world 26 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Fake: There are no girls on the internet

Gay: OP was flirting with a man

[–] bhamlin@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Fake: OP was flirting with a raccoon

Gay: OP talks about feelings

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[–] the_tab_key@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Too obvious and on the nose.

[–] steeznson@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

Yeah I've let myself down here. Had a good streak going but I'll let someone else take the wheel for a while.

[–] Sanctus@lemmy.world 23 points 1 month ago

NGL I do not miss keeping up with that shit. Its such a drag. Yet somehow waking up and saying good morning to someone is the shit.

[–] steeznson@lemmy.world 20 points 1 month ago

online

There's your problem

[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 19 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Sometimes you gotta remember that everyone has their own shit going on, and it's a bit self-centered to assume, every time, that it has to do with you. Especially when it comes to online dating.

[–] Sat@lemmynsfw.com 17 points 1 month ago

Her Boyfriend found the message and blocked him

[–] Snowclone@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago

homie needs to learn about talking to people in real life.

[–] iAvicenna@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

seems like you dodged a bullet?

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

The perils of being too online.

[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 6 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Maybe they only did that to hurt you. They bait you with a fake relationship.

[–] RickyRigatoni@retrolemmy.com 13 points 1 month ago

Being at the stage where you assume everyone being nice to you is just setting you up for more pain sucks.

[–] veni_vedi_veni@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Just get used to rejection, until you become enlightened enough to realize that life is suffering and you only have value insofar as how useful/reliable to others you are.

Anyone telling you otherwise is stunting your growth.

[–] lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org 15 points 1 month ago (3 children)

This sounds like less of a truth and more like you are lashing out. Are you OK man?

[–] moseschrute@lemmy.ml 9 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Not only that, but the upvotes. So at least 4 people agree. Are you all ok?

[–] nomy@lemmy.zip 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It's a Buddhist misquote, it should read "there is suffering in life" but it's often interpreted as "life is suffering."

The intent is to express that our own desires and material wants are often the root causes of our suffering and if we can begin to understand that we can begin to free ourselves from the suffering that occurs in this existence.

But it does sound nihilistic as fuck on its own.

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[–] mojofrododojo@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

or excusing poor behavior because of past pain. we're all responsible for our own actions.

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