this post was submitted on 14 Oct 2025
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Same boat.
At the end of the day, marriage is a government contract.
Why the fuck would I want the government involved in my relationship?
Because the government is involved in all sorts of other things, including, for example, who's allowed to make decisions for someone when they're sick or dying and unable to make decisions for themselves.
And if you want to make those decisions for your partner you need to have some kind of government involvement in your relationship, either a legal marriage or some other waiver / power of attorney / whatever.
I've heard stories from elder gays about the United States before gay marriage was legal. Back when someone who'd been with their partner for decades couldn't even visit them in the hospital when they were dying, because they weren't legally the next of kin. When a young gay man could be in the hospital with AIDS and their estranged, anti-gay parents could swoop in, deny medical care, pull the plug, and take his body away from his partner and community to cremate him and flush the ashes, and because those parents were the young man's next of kin no one could do anything to stop them.
Not to mention finances, inheritance, taxes, power of attorney, all the messy government stuff that becomes much simpler when you have a legal marriage that automatically provides it.
I think of what could happen if my partner was in the hospital and their parents were their next of kin and I'm very happy for our legal marriage.
What you described is exactly why Equal Marriage mattered so much. Thank you for highlighting that. I think, now, there are ways to designate someone in that role (besides marriage)? I'm not 100% sure of that. If not, I'd like to see that done.
For the original topic, I'm very much of the view that love should not be tied to consumerism of any type. If I were to get married, it would certainly be a courthouse wedding, with no rings or any of that; purely for those legal benefits.
Congratulations
In Canada, once you live with a commonlaw partner for a given number of years (I think its two or more years?) ... the law basically identifies you as a married couple in many ways. I think the only things left over is medical rights, do no resuscitate and right to die issues after that.