this post was submitted on 25 Nov 2025
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Memes

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[–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 5 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

I did provide justification for it, it's an insult almost always levied against straight men acting as sycophants for other straight men. Neither of them are having sex with each other, it's meant to make the submission especially shameful by drawing on the societal disgust towards gay men and straight/bi women. Socially, it has always been an insult to outright call straight men "gay" or the f-slur, because the shame and hatred for queer folk is built-in. This just extends that to the act of submission.

Secondly, I by no means made up this analysis, it's existed for a long time (as did analysis of the r-word before it became accepted as ableist by the general population). Here's some example articles/threads/etc:

The list goes on. It isn't a culture shift, it's still a pejorative that is only insulting if you think the act itself is shameful or bad, and it's nearly always used against straight men.

[–] GrammarPolice@lemmy.world -5 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

Here's a comment from one of the threads you posted:

Who gives a fuck, it's an insult, people don't throw out insults with a deep dark plan in mind, they do it to piss someone off at being called something.

I've called someone a cunt, does that mean I think vaginas are the ultimate insult? Am i deeply woman hating? No, of course not, I was mad at someone being a cunt, so I called them a cunt.

Stop reading into things, and ignore the people in this thread that think you can imply/infer deeper meanings from the surface language people use.

About sums up how i feel about this issue. Most people using the word aren't intending to insult homosexuals. You and everyone that takes offence with this should go outside.

If i say someone is 'riding d' I don't give a fuck who or who doesn't do it. I'm alluding to a specific action using a metaphor. It's basic literature. Stop getting offended by everything.

Also i don't see the point of the first article you linked

[–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 7 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Ah yes, telling a pansexual man that he needs to go outside because I recognize the way problematic language you personally are a fan of using works. Excellent strategy there. By your line of logic, we should keep using the r-slur, racial slurs, etc, if it weren't for the fact that people already successfully pointed out the same things queer people and feminists have been pointing out about words like "dicksucker."

Rather than telling people not to be offended by homophobic language you enjoy, you should be capable of self-critique and learn to be a bigger person. There are good reasons we no longer call people the r-word, or f-slur, and these same reasons apply to calling people "dicksuckers." You aren't referring to the literal actions, but likening real submissive actions to gay sex as a means to make the submissive actions more shameful. Your intent does not matter when it comes to the messages your words actually convey.

As for the article, it's Lemmy.ml's slur filter, you can replace the removed part with "c-sucker" spelled out.