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A lot of the people reporting issues with Matrix being slow and resource heavy are reporting issues with Synapse, which is Element's big Python implementation. My Continuwuity instance, which is a server written in Rust, uses a fraction of a CPU and a total storage in the hundreds of megabytes. A few less features, but it has most of the ones people care about.
Do the voice call and video features work with continuwuity?
On desktop? Yes. On Element X? Not yet. Requires additional setup, as it's not a core part of the homeserver
Can't speak for the Synapse hosting, as back when I hosted one myself I directly started with Dendrite (was not really that feature rich) and switched to Continuiwity soon after. And I have to agree, ran like a charm on my VPS and didn't use a ton of resources. Granted, I was the only user so can't say how the usage would have increased with more users active.