this post was submitted on 05 Feb 2024
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Nothing says buy seal penises like... Taylor swift?
Is the simulation collapsing into a Swift-ularity? She's suddenly at the center of everything, including seal meat. Wtf
As ridiculous as this story is on its own, the Taylor Swift comment was obviously a joke. The guy was testifying that Russians and celebrities were spreading "misinformation" about seal hunting, and that they needed to counter that with a PR campaign of their own. And the official said "(since Ryan Reynolds is out) we're targeting the Swifties" as the target demographic, and laughed that Swift might endorse the seal hunt.
She was name dropped because she's the most famous celebrity at the moment, to highlight the absurdity of the idea, not because the idea has merit. It's still a funny story about seal murder. The author of the article even has a statement from the official buried in the last paragraph that says "obviously, that was a joke you dipshits" or something. I'm paraphrasing.
Edited to accurately describe what she said.
Murder? I'll have you know that was sealf defense, when he threatened me with the malice in his eyes, his fate was sealed.
On a side note what's the going rate for a seal penis. I sealiously don't want to keep it.