this post was submitted on 05 Feb 2024
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Previous government efforts to boost the sale of seal products have also failed, noted Fink. As an example, she pointed to a 2014 plan which recommended the Fisheries and Oceans department try to revive the market for the sale of seal penises.

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[–] HWK_290@lemmy.world 87 points 1 year ago (5 children)

Nothing says buy seal penises like... Taylor swift?

Is the simulation collapsing into a Swift-ularity? She's suddenly at the center of everything, including seal meat. Wtf

[–] flamingo_pinyata@sopuli.xyz 41 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Is the simulation collapsing into a Swift-ularity?

Certainly seems so.
Taylor Swift is the only important person in the world according to the news.

I mean I like her music, but if you asked me a couple of years ago who's going to be shaking the world in 2024, definitely wouldn't say Taylor Swift.

[–] dojan@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I don't think I've ever heard a single song of hers.

[–] Kalkaline@leminal.space 24 points 1 year ago (3 children)

You probably don't know which ones are hers, but that's like saying you've never heard a Michael Jackson or Beatles song. They're everywhere and you'd have to avoid music in public altogether to avoid it, she has songs everywhere.

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[–] givesomefucks@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago (4 children)

If your young, it's not that difficult to avoid music.

But she was huge like 20 years ago as a country singer, went to pop, and now makes slightly more grown up pop.

If you're over 30 and American you've 100% heard one of her songs because radio was still a thing back then.

[–] HikingVet@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 year ago

I'm glad I wouldn't really be able to tell if the pop song is hers by just listening to it. But then I stopped listening to pop in high school and radio stations once MP3 players could hold more than 3 grindcore albums at a time.

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[–] EmergMemeHologram@startrek.website 22 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You can only get so famous before the seal penis lobby come after you.

[–] bloopernova@programming.dev 6 points 1 year ago

...you die a hero or you live long enough to become the seal penis?

[–] themeatbridge@lemmy.world 18 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

As ridiculous as this story is on its own, the Taylor Swift comment was obviously a joke. The guy was testifying that Russians and celebrities were spreading "misinformation" about seal hunting, and that they needed to counter that with a PR campaign of their own. And the official said "(since Ryan Reynolds is out) we're targeting the Swifties" as the target demographic, and laughed that Swift might endorse the seal hunt.

She was name dropped because she's the most famous celebrity at the moment, to highlight the absurdity of the idea, not because the idea has merit. It's still a funny story about seal murder. The author of the article even has a statement from the official buried in the last paragraph that says "obviously, that was a joke you dipshits" or something. I'm paraphrasing.

Edited to accurately describe what she said.

[–] VulKendov@reddthat.com 7 points 1 year ago

It's still a funny story about seal murder

Murder? I'll have you know that was sealf defense, when he threatened me with the malice in his eyes, his fate was sealed.

On a side note what's the going rate for a seal penis. I sealiously don't want to keep it.

[–] SpaceCowboy@lemmy.ca 9 points 1 year ago

Do you know how many magazines Time sold when they made her person of the year?

She's the only thing keeping the news industry alive.

[–] MajorHavoc@programming.dev 6 points 1 year ago

Is the simulation collapsing into a Swift-ularity?

Honestly, I would be okay with that. We could do a lot worse.

[–] EmergMemeHologram@startrek.website 43 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Canadians need to realize that eating seal is as normal as eating a lamb chop or a veal sandwich,” added Kolga.

Am I having a stroke? What? What the fuck is going on with this article?

Who talks about fucking veal sandwiches like it's an every day thing? I've never in my life seen seal meat for sale, not heard of anyone having tried it.

[–] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Been Canadian my whole 50 years, have never seen seal meat. Not even in gourmet grocers who sell wild animal meats. The local deli does sell veal parm though.

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Have you never fucked a veal sandwich?

Highly recommended, especially if it’s freshly clubbed and still warm.

[–] fidodo@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

The seal industry lobby apparently

[–] blazera@kbin.social 25 points 1 year ago (5 children)

they dont even make a case of what benefit this provides besides money for specifically them. Go into a different industry if consumers dont want what you're selling.

[–] MajorHavoc@programming.dev 4 points 1 year ago

But... What if clubbing baby seals is their calling? /s

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[–] originalucifer@moist.catsweat.com 15 points 1 year ago (3 children)
[–] betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world 30 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yeah, otherwise they wouldn't be much more than skeletons.

[–] originalucifer@moist.catsweat.com 18 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (6 children)

here in the states, 'clubbing baby seals' is a basic euphemism for 'evil'

its beyond strange to hear there is not only a market for seal meat, but that it is flat out an accepted industry. i have no horse in this race though, id eat it.. or the horse

[–] themeatbridge@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I remember habing a T-shirt Hell shirt that showed two baby seals in swanky attire dancing under a disco ball, with the words "Stop Clubbing Baby Seals" in glittery rhinestones.

[–] didnt_readit@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Haha I just checked and not only does that site still exist it looks exactly the same as I remember from like 20 years ago

[–] ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I've had horse a couple of times. It's pretty good.

[–] HikingVet@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

What would you compare it to?

[–] ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

That's a good question. It's kind of it's own thing, kind of gamey though. It's not got much fat in it. This being said, horse isn't produced for consumption in my country and as such the meat is procured from horses that have lived life as pets pretty much exclusively.

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[–] HikingVet@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 year ago

Yes. Normally sold internationally beacuse the market in Canada is rather small.

The people who hunt seals have been trying to boost domestic consumption for years.

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[–] ivanafterall@kbin.social 14 points 1 year ago

She really needs to just put the whole music thing on hold and help us with literally everything else, apparently.

[–] muntedcrocodile@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

What in the fuck is this article. Its like a bad joke, what does seal penises and taylor swift have in common?

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[–] Ghyste@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 year ago

We're sure this isn't a satire site?

[–] TheDoctorDonna@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

How is seal meat still an industry? We have no need for seal anything, we aren't Inuit people living way up north or some shit.

Fucking capitalism will murder anything it can.

[–] reddig33@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Is this Ottawa’s version of “The Onion”?

[–] fogstormberry@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

canada is like an onion source: am canadian

[–] BarrierWithAshes@kbin.social 5 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Literally. Canadian news is just American news two weeks behind.

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[–] SpaceCowboy@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 year ago

Naw, that's the Beaverton.

[–] Landmammals@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I was expecting that they wanted Taylor to speak out against seal meat, not endorse seal penis meat.

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Naw. It’s them seal penises, gotta sell the aphrodisiac; and who better than T Swift?

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Why are we talking about Russia when my Ontario elementary school showed videos of the seal hunt? I vividly remember that happening with a strong: this is wrong take.

[–] Blackout@kbin.social 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Is she going to eat all those seal pensises herself? Come on Taylor, share!

[–] Son_of_dad@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Lol why in the fuck would she agree to that? I'd be surprised if she wasn't vegan already.

And by the way, I kept being told that seal hunt and meat was for native populations to use and such. Now it's become a corporate market? How is that tradition?

[–] gregorum@lemm.ee 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

This is curbing on the plot of an episode of Elementary from, like, 5 or 6 years ago.

It was ridiculous then too. 

[–] fidodo@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

What the fuck did I just read?

[–] RickRussell_CA@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

The Burns Omni-Net sweeps the sea clean!

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