Greentext

Almost everyone I know who would be interested in that, while not dating or otherwise committed to someone else, without some kind of religious baggage or ethical qualms that prevents them from wanting to have a one-night stand, has been successful at least once or twice. But those caveats really do carve people out: the guy who was in a committed relationship from 20-22 while attending that party school, the guy who has religious reasons not to have low commitment sex, etc.

And that window doesn't last forever. Men who tend to be charismatic enough to find a quick partner also tend to be charismatic enough to find a stable partner. So a hookup phase tends to give way to a serious relationship, especially when hooking up with a woman who otherwise stands out from the others in terms of some kind of specific compatibility.

So stringing that together multiple times in the phase of your life where you might want to do that instead of a committed relationship, enough to move past the 5-9 number, seems much more unusual to me.

For me, I think I basically only had a 1 year window where I lived in a city where hookups with strangers was feasible and where I wasn't already committed to a monogamous relationship. And I had some hookups that year, but ended up in a serious relationship by the end of that 12-month period. And when I got out of that relationship I had basically a few dates before meeting my wife and falling in love with her.

In other words, even among the men I know who had lots of hookups in their 20's tended to be married by 30 anyway, so it's a limited window of time.