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This is a fundamental issue of the Matrix protocol, yes. For regular small scale use it doesn't matter so much, and the state history gets reset every time you do a room upgrade, which is another annoying "feature" of Matrix, but it eases the fundamental problem a bit.
But IMHO the Matrix protocol is a child of the Bitcoin hype era and is built on a similar data-structure that is inherently impossible to scale and the developers of Matrix should have realized that early on. Their bosses back then actually did, but they spun it off as a separate company and got some crypto-currency investments so the can was kicked down the road and here we are...
Is there a good alternative that you would recommend?
XMPP obviously. Have a look at https://joinjabber.org/
Still staggering to me that XMPP isn't the default, since it was used in many chat apps in the late 90's.
What client(s) do you use/prefer?
Like many, I am looking for a Discord replacement and (possibly hot take) I largely like Discord's layout, UI, and chat flow. That is to say, I like threads, channels, categories, and "servers" (spaces, what-have-you) to partition my chat experience. There are a few Matrix clients that replicate this closely, but the XMPP ones I have seen so far at least were not very enjoyable user experiences for me.
(Not for nothing, I also have been able to get a Synapse server running on my homelab, but have thus far not been able to successfully get an XMPP server running so that's not helping my experience either)
Happy to check out your suggestions.
it seems like movim is the most discord-ish xmpp client
Does it do screen sharing, group calls, etc.?
Screensharing is the only thing i dont think it does. Voice and video good. See snikket or conversations.im
Neither of those client promo pages mention group calling. le sigh
I believe group calling is only a thing certain clients (e.g. Dino, Movim) support, although there is a initiative to implement it on protocol level as far as I am aware.
So, Onomatopoeia there is wondering why xmpp isn't standard, and I'm getting the sense that it is targeted at oldskool usage.
Discord is popular because it's easy to start using, it has collaboration features like group screensharing, and it doesn't assume an ubernerd is the target audience.
Maybe we'll get a more unified, feature rich xmpp implementation, but until then, sounds like matrix/element is closer, despite its warts.
Yeah you could consider it old school, or maybe just a product of another time were people didn't mind to use multiple software for different uses.
I for one don't mind using Mumble for voice and XMPP for text chat or one to one calls for example.
I don't have a computer or smartphone so I only can install one app and that's it. And I know I might be in the minority when it comes to that, at least compared to the general public. For gods sake it's already hard to get people to install a second messenger app, not even trying to get them off WhatsApp or other meta crap...
Any source for the coin stuff? Never read about it
You could even argue it with the data structures and the protocol itself: Modelling chat rooms as graphs ("directed acyclic graphs"), which need to be eventually consistent from beginning to end is plain madness for big and long-living public spaces. This blog post is a good collection of some of the major problems coming from that: Why not Matrix? - telegra.ph
They (Element / New Vector) got a major early investment in 2018 from Status, a cryptocurrency/web3 company, and later in 2021 an even bigger one in relation to Protocol Labs, who peddle their own cryptocurrency.