Selfhosted
A place to share alternatives to popular online services that can be self-hosted without giving up privacy or locking you into a service you don't control.
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It exists, but it's generally really small shops that I wouldn't feel comfortable recommending.
The bigger hosting providers are fine with the status quo, because it means their support tickets are from people who at least know something about anything rather than complete noobies who need help resetting their password (not that there's anything wrong with that, it's just higher volume and not what hetzner staff is trained on)
They could solve your last point by providing a community forum like Discourse or even Lemmy, and saying that support for the packaged software is an extra charge.