Selfhosted
A place to share alternatives to popular online services that can be self-hosted without giving up privacy or locking you into a service you don't control.
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I'm a bit late to the party but the stack I run is what Beeper uses. If you don't mind handing them your IMs it's exactly what they host and it works great (used it for a year before I decided to host my own things). They make you use their client but AFAIK beeper.com is really just a very fancy matrix instance so you could use probably any Matrix client.
As for managing an instance, see my recent comment about DB maintenance. There's nothing more to it than that as far as maintenance is concerned for just a few users instance. Then installing the bridges isn't hard because the docs are really good.