Not The Onion

21063 readers

1663 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

Links to news stories from...
...credible sources, with...
...their original headlines, that...
...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, ableist, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

kescusay@lemmy.world

FEMA Official Says He Teleported to Waffle House. Experts Are Dubious. (www.nytimes.com)

submitted 5 hours ago by silence7@slrpnk.net to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

32 comments fedilink hide all child comments

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] notabot@piefed.social 2 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

It's terrible what the aliens do to people after they scoop them up and before they teleport them back to Earth. There's probes and prodding and general dubious medical practices. That's probably what causes it. I've heard they use certain solvents to pacify people first though, so you might fail a breath test when you first return.

[–] Buffalox@lemmy.world 1 points 2 hours ago

Yeah I think they are examining my head a bit too much. So much I'm sometimes also dizzy from it?!