this post was submitted on 03 Apr 2026
249 points (99.2% liked)

Not The Onion

21101 readers
719 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, ableist, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
kescusay@lemmy.world
249
FEMA Official Says He Teleported to Waffle House. Experts Are Dubious. (www.nytimes.com)
submitted 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) by silence7@slrpnk.net to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world
53 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

The NYT was roundly mocked for the original headline and has now changed it to

No One at Waffle House Remembers FEMA Official Who Says He Teleported In

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] apftwb@lemmy.world 9 points 21 hours ago* (last edited 21 hours ago) (1 children)

We must assemble an panel of experts to discuss on the evening news. Both sides have legitimacy that must be explored. The segment must end inconclusively leaving it to you, the viewer, to decide on if the head of FEMA was teleported for a Waffle House against his will or if he was blackout drunk.

[–] Aneb@lemmy.world 2 points 18 hours ago

I teleported 15 blocks a month ago at 2am. I was leaving a bar, things go dark and I'm at a bus stop a mile away. The trippy thing was that no buses were running atm. I ordered the cheapest uber of my life and got back home.