this post was submitted on 14 Apr 2026
306 points (99.4% liked)

Not The Onion

21216 readers
2690 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, ableist, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] homesweethomeMrL@lemmy.world 7 points 7 hours ago

From https://www.jefftiedrich.com/p/doctor-jesus-heals-donnys-dementia

here’s the deal with this ‘Door Dash Granny.’ her name is Sharon Simmons, and she got flown into DC from her home in Fayetteville, Arkansas, to appear in Donny’s dog-and-pony show.

she’s actually got a pretty grim story. this poor woman had to take up being a DoorDash driver in order to make ends meet after her husband ran up medical bills due to treatment for cancer.

the lesson we’re supposed to take away from this bogus White House photo-op is that because Big Benevolent Dear Leader got rid of taxes on tips, Sharon Simmons was able to save eleven grand on her tax bill — and yay, Donny, you’re the hero of the working class!

the real lesson here is that we live in a shithole country where any of us could get thrown into bankruptcy in a hot second because of a medical emergency — and if it happens to you, you’re expected to try to make ends meet by working your ass off in a shitty piecemeal gig-economy job.

Simmons, a grandmother of 10, began working as a Dasher in 2022 to earn income while maintaining a flexible schedule. Since then, she has completed more than 14,000 deliveries.

fourteen thousand deliveries in three-plus years — that sounds fucking idyllic, doesn’t it? this woman has ten grandchildren. she should be enjoying their company, not racing around town trying to beat the clock so she can make as many deliveries as possible and come home exhausted.

what in the actual fuck?

but instead of doing anything meaningful to solve the problem of crushing medical debt, Donny stages some useless stunt and preens for the camera. problem solved, Sharon — now get the fuck out of Dear Leader’s sight.