this post was submitted on 28 May 2026
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That was an option the whole time?!?
It was an option, but the fact there's an article about it suggests he got caught, and I imagine the consequences will be worse than having to attend a work party.
Other options (with consequences of varying severities) include: jumping out of a window; never quiting the job until you die so they can't throw you any parties; not showing up for the last day of work; telling your colleagues you don't want a leaving party.
Calling in a bomb threat sounds preferable tbh. Just make sure you use a burner phone.
Do you think cops ever get mad if someone literally calls in a bomb threat, like "Jesus Christ this could have been an email."
And use text to speech so they can't recognize your voice.
But you still have to talk to people on the phone. I'll take the window, thanks.
Maybe just spend the last month or so hitting “reply all”. Then there won’t be a party to go to.
There might be a party after you leave, though.