The existence of a finished, printed paper begins at the moment of conception when the customer conceives of wanting to print a document. Really every step after that point (including the conception step itself) is monetizable by HP and more importantly rightfully owned as intellectual property of HP that you are technically stealing if you don’t follow through with actually printing the document on an HP printer.

HP is just leaving all of that money on the table, or maybe the printer market is just too heavily regulated for HP to innovate properly in a healthy free market.

[–] Car@lemmy.dbzer0.com 38 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I would like to subscribe to more corporate monetization facts

[–] dumpsterlid@lemmy.world 11 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Congratulations you are now subscribed to Business Facts.

As you’re friendly (and helpful!) algorithm how about I recommend you some similar content you might be interested in subscribing to such as unhinged rightwing political commentators outright calling for violence, batshit crazy conspiracy videos and vape pen reviews?

[–] cm0002@lemmy.world 24 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Some HP executive: Write that down! WRITE THAT DOWN!

[–] dumpsterlid@lemmy.world 2 points 8 months ago

Ah sir, you ommm, made it so that every page of paper we use while working is deducted from our time off by HR (1 piece of paper = 10 minutes vacation time).

Whose paper should we use?

[–] CosmicTurtle@lemmy.world 13 points 8 months ago (3 children)

The problem is that they can't control open source drivers. They could, however, release a printer that ran on proprietary closed source drivers. But they'd have to spend money on developers to maintain that code whereas right now, drivers are more or less stable and developed for free.

What they could do is require the use of HP printer paper, with embedded RFID or watermarks that would be readable by HP printers. I'm honestly surprised they haven't gone down this road.

[–] dumpsterlid@lemmy.world 12 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

See this is exactly what I am talking about when I say HP is leaving money on the table here, when thinking about these topics you just utilized the intellectual property of the following products for self improvement, recreation and social benefit:

Economically Recoverable Use Of Products By Thought (ER-UOPBT)

HP EcoPrecision Advanced Document Rendering Suite™ (HP EDARS™)
    For the simple act of translating your document into printer-readable format.

HP SmartCartridge Alignment Pro+ System™ (HP SCAPS™)
    Ensures your ink cartridges are perfectly aligned for each print, for the low price of continued subscription.

HP QuantumInk Subscription Service™ (HP QISS™)
    Provides monthly ink deliveries while monitoring your ink levels remotely through quantum encryption.

HP PrintAssure Secure Environment Technology™ (HP PASET™)
    An exclusive service that creates a secure printing tunnel to protect your documents from prying eyes.

HP PaperLoad Ultimate Feed Mechanism™ (HP PLUFM™)
    A premium paper tray enhancement that promises to handle even the thinnest paper without a single jam.

HP ColorSync Precision Match™ (HP CSPM™)
    A color management system that requires regular calibration via an online service to maintain color accuracy.

HP PageSense Automated Counting Service™ (HP PACS™)
    A cloud-based page counting solution to ensure you're billed for each dot of ink on the paper.

HP IntelliConnect Wi-Fi Booster Pack™ (HP IWBP™)
    A proprietary Wi-Fi extension service designed to maintain a robust connection between your devices and the printer.

HP ClearText Font Rendering Optimization™ (HP CFRO™)
    A patented font enhancement service that sharpens the text on your prints, available in 12-month access packages.

HP OneTouch Print Harmony Experience™ (HP OTPHE™)
    A personalized one-button printing interface that's locked behind a bi-monthly membership fee.

HP Printalytics Predictive Maintenance Hub™ (HP PPMH™)
    An AI-driven analysis tool that predicts printer issues and schedules interventions, all reportable to your HP Premium Support Account Manager.

HP UltraPrint Resolution Enhancement Layer™ (HP UREL™)
    A downloadable print resolution enhancement that requires a special code from your HP Print Quality Loyalty Program.

HP FirstSheet FastTrack Technology™ (HP FFST™)
    Speeds up the printing of the first page of any document after a minor upgrade to your printer firmware.

HP WhisperMode Acoustic Dampening Service™ (HP WMADS™)
    A subscription-based service to reduce printer noise with each cycle, for a more serene office environment.

Thus you are clearly already a customer of HP, and the exchange of HP giving your mind the imaginative capacity (Thought-As-A-Service) to visualize a printed document it is only reasonable to bundle with a subscription you pay to HP.

Are you going to tell me the US Supreme Court isn't dumb enough to make this federal law? Also, if you think my joke was wayyy too much of a logical stretch to make any sense you should see what these people think about women and their bodies.

[–] x4740N@lemmy.world 2 points 8 months ago

What they could do is require the use of HP printer paper, with embedded RFID

Some label makers do this

[–] Steve@startrek.website 2 points 8 months ago

Some photo printers do

[–] idunnololz@lemmy.world 3 points 8 months ago (1 children)

They should DRM every drop of ink.

[–] dumpsterlid@lemmy.world 4 points 8 months ago

100% Real DRM In Every Drop!