Memes

I think that @Rhynoplaz said it very well. I'm very sorry for what you went through and the betrayal by those who are supposed to protect you. I hope that you are able to continue healing.

As a fellow survivor of early childhood trauma, one of the ways that I deal with it is service to others. That is to say, taking what I've learned in my experiences in coping over the years and using them to help people who are going through similar experiences or experience marginalization either by advocating for them, lending an empathetic ear, or sharing what I've been through and have learned. I wasn't even aware until well into adulthood that my traumas (some that I don't remember due to young age) had had such a profound impact on my life. Choosing to leverage the painful traumas to constructive purposes that make other people happy gives me a sense of fulfillment and taking control over things that were very much out of my control as a young child.

Now, I'm not saying that this is the way for everyone or that your anger is wrong. It isn't and your anger is a healthy emotional response to your experience. Also, just as an emotion, it's absolutely ok and healthy to experience. There are no "bad" emotions, emotions are just part of our selves as humans and embracing them is embracing ourselves (I'm, admittedly still working on that). I might say that the direction that you are pointing your anger may be misplaced and that you may be perceiving an attack or slight where none appears to have been intended. But, again, please don't take that as me trying to invalidate how you feel as that is not at all my intention.

If you want to chat or would like some help in finding someone who is a professional to help you heal, please don't hesitate to reach out.