this post was submitted on 04 May 2024
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[–] Pringles@lemm.ee 30 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I had a friend at university who was in quite a long relationship who kept a list of people she wanted to sleep with in case they broke up. So when they eventually had a break up, she postponed getting back together until she had cleared the list, which took her about two months. I was not on the list, in case you're wondering, nor did I want to.

[–] Coreidan@lemmy.world 40 points 6 months ago (2 children)

For real? That’s both sad and creepy.

I hope the other person in the relationship bailed for their own sake.

[–] Duke_Nukem_1990@feddit.de 5 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (2 children)

That’s both sad and creepy.

How is it either of those things? Let people fuck who they want to fuck as long as it is consentual, who cares?

[–] Coreidan@lemmy.world 41 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (3 children)

“Hey babe. I made a mistake. I want to get back together.”

“Sure no problem! Me too! I just need to plow through this list of dudes I’m gonna fuck first.”

Seems like an awfully shitty thing to do to someone that’s genuinely interested in you.

[–] EatATaco@lemm.ee 3 points 6 months ago

You cheat on someone: you're a worthless piece of shit.

You don't get back together with someone because you want to have sex with other people first: you're sad and creepy.

One can never win when it comes to sex in a puritanical society, unless they very faithfully only have sex with one person.

[–] gianni@lemmy.ca 2 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Making a list of people to fuck can be a bit creepy for exactly the reason you mentioned: consent—or the absence of it.

[–] Cryophilia@lemmy.world 4 points 6 months ago (2 children)

What? You need consent to find someone attractive now? Jesus fucking christ, go touch grass

[–] BigPotato@lemmy.world 4 points 6 months ago (1 children)

No, you don't need consent to find someone attractive - that's a personal thing.

That said, imagine you're in a fat neckbeards house that smells slightly of wet socks and you find a piece of paper that lists out twenty women he wants to bang. Creepy, right?

Flip the script and you're in an attractive woman's house that smells of sandalwood and you find a list of guys names that she plans to have sex with. That's... Still creepy, right?

In the above listed story, which is probably fake anyway, the woman kept a running tab of people in her life, not celebrities and such, who she would sleep with if they went on a break for any reason. That alone would've been a deal breaker for me and I'd have given her the freedom to go do her list. That's like me saying to my partner "Here's a list of possibles. Make me mad and I'll go seal the deal with them before we make up."

Now, the woman in the story apparently had to sleep with the whole list, ala My Name Is Earl, for them to get back together. The men, obviously, would sleep with her is the implication. For all we know though, this woman propositioned the men and respected any who turned her down and removed them from the list.

I actually don't care about any of this, just needed something to ponder on the toilet.

[–] Cryophilia@lemmy.world 0 points 6 months ago

The former example is creepy because the guy is creepy, in both examples the list itself is not creepy. Wanting to have sex is not a bad thing.

[–] gianni@lemmy.ca 2 points 6 months ago (1 children)

You know that's not the same thing.

[–] Cryophilia@lemmy.world 3 points 6 months ago (1 children)

It's just putting it on paper instead of in your head. What's the difference?

[–] EatATaco@lemm.ee 2 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Well, you see, I'm trying to find a reason for it to be creepy, so that's why it's creepy. Pretty straight forward difference there.

[–] Cryophilia@lemmy.world 1 points 6 months ago

Understandable, have a nice day

[–] Cryophilia@lemmy.world 1 points 6 months ago

I think it's sad, but I don't get the creepy part?