this post was submitted on 29 Dec 2023
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I recall girls asking me to cosplay and i mostly just was interested in the anime they shared and then i met L from death note when they showed me that and that's probably about when i started realizing i wasn't exactly straight, i feel bad for them though. I really didn't understand anything about my feelings as a kid, I just hope that the future is better for queer kids down the line. I wish i had understood myself soo much earlier, it would have helped avoid soo much pain, and misunderstanding and miscommunication. I didn't realize a lot of girls were into me, but now I do, and while it's not really my fault, I know the pain of one sided romantic attraction. So I still feel really bad. I also might have been able to stay with my first boyfriend for longer if I had understood that one can be romantically attracted to someone without being sexually attracted. Yes, I am asexual.
School wasn't the hard part, it was not understanding i was queer and I never fit any of the things people said were valid, that part is what made school hard for me. Along with my mental differences as well.