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Healthy relationships don't control the clothes their spouse wears (lemmy.world)

submitted 10 months ago by Custoslibera@lemmy.world to c/memes@lemmy.ml

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[–] flamingo_pinyata@sopuli.xyz 18 points 10 months ago (1 children)

We're not supposed to victim-blame, but imo this applies only if the person was lured under false pretenses, or forced somehow.

It's Kanye West. Everyone knows who and what Kanye is. Even if you don't it's a 5 second google search to find out.

[–] Lmaydev@programming.dev 25 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Abuse often works this way.

Usually it's intermittent and when they aren't being abused they are super loving and caring.

This leads to people thinking they are doing something wrong or that the abuser is a loving partner with problems that can be worked on.

Abuse is incredibly complicated and until you've been through it it's really hard to understand how anyone could put up with it.

[–] tdawg@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

It's often bi-directional as well. Sadly I know someone in a battered marriage situation and a big part of why they won't leave is bc they don't want the court (they have a kid) to find out they were also getting physical with their spouse. Codependency is a bitch

[–] Lmaydev@programming.dev 3 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

100%

There's reactive abuse. Where in response to abuse you defend yourself with abusive behaviour. Then the original abuser plays the victim and gas lights you.

My marriage was like this. It was hell.