this post was submitted on 29 Oct 2023
69 points (98.6% liked)
Greentext
4459 readers
1126 users here now
This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
- Anon is often crazy.
- Anon is often depressed.
- Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
People do need these things, but it’s both. Part of stepping back and introspecting should be learning that you aren’t to everyone’s tastes no matter what you do. You could be an active volunteer athlete and charming as hell and get rejected because your life sounds exhausting to someone you like. That’s not bad, that’s life. Be who you want to be and accept that not everyone wants that person.
That'd be easy when rejected outright. Not when your contacts with the person you like have made you lower your guard and start believing that they may accept you, and then they just ... throw you out.
I'm starting to appreciate the traditional way, where you know whom you can meet and possibly marry and whom you can't. It's a cultural thing, and some people's upbringing is just incompatible with mine. I wouldn't ever do anything like that to a person who'd like me even if I didn't like them, it's like throwing out a dog or a cat.
A bit like those societies where lynching is normal - if it's a crowd doing it, then it's not a crime. So having grown up in many families, girls and boys think that if for some reason another side seems weak or ill or depressed and in general not fun, that requires no effort on their side, just look for someone more fun, no humanity required. I fail to see how such people are going to create families of their own and have children, though.
You’re positively comparing something you do to lynching. Above all else that’s why you’re single. Well the reason behind it is.
And you’re not describing something desirable. Like looking for someone fun may not result in something great but looking for people you feel good around who want the same thing as you does result in amazing things.
I’m happily married. A lot of people don’t want what I offer, but plenty do. My wife does.
Humanity is irrelevant here. What about the humanity of the other people. Willing association is key. Divorce is sacred
No, I'm obviously comparing things acceptable to others "just because I don't want to bother being kinder and more respectful and having a normal direct conversation" which I'm not doing to lynching.
Also just ascribing wrong meanings to what I say or write or do (and not even trying to clarify those) is one of the main surface reasons I have these problems. At least every one openly expressed by the other side is attributing some position or opinion to me which clearly isn't the reality.
While there is that principle of "who wants, looks for opportunities, and who doesn't, looks for excuses", it's still unclear for me whether there is some reason people are unwilling to express though I'm literally asking for it, or just explaining themselves is really so hard, so it's about misunderstandings.
Or maybe girls just see my attempts to clarify things as lack of dignity and weakness, which would be the opposite to what I think.
I mean, independently of that question, above all else you are just illustrating that wrong category of humans I'm talking about.
They too like to interpret my words however they like to justify their behavior, while openly trying to prevent me from clarifying what I meant which would make their interpretation wrong. It's really sad when someone won't even criticize you honestly.
And when it's a girl I care for, I can't treat her opinion as easily as yours, it becomes some center of existence, heart of humanity for me. That is a problem, yes. Only it alone doesn't explain everything. There still should be something explaining why that girl wouldn't break up without almost saying I am defective. It usually does coincide in time with her becoming that center of existence, but why does that create negative vibes or something, I don't know.
People with cold are not fun, people with broken limbs are not fun, people with food poisoning are not fun. They also may not want the same thing as you. They are actually kinda miserable and uninteresting while still sick. Same for people with depression.
Somehow I don't just discard friends who got sick. Others usually don't as well. But somehow with depression it becomes normal for many people.
It's relevant to what I'm talking about.
I'm talking about people just cutting it down long after you've expressed most of what you'd want to express about yourself, down to the core, and then not taking any effort to make it less painful.
Silently and abruptly, looking at you the "oh, it's so bad that you are so miserable, but just get lost, you're annoying" way, and when being asked a to give some idea as to why, saying both not very specific and rather unpleasant things like "you should do something to your emotions" and "you have an image of a teenager" and "a shaking leaf taking lots of time for basic social actions".
I'm not talking about unwillingness, but when you aren't willing to associate anymore, and that does hurt another person, it would be decent to say some parting words with more meaning than, in short, "you look and behave kinda cute, which is why I started talking to you, but you are really not alpha enough with those emotions for me, so sad you exist". That is, maybe if I should do something about those emotions, then she herself should also be a bit more tactful and not just go with the hormones and vibes ape path while breaking up?
You've used another short sentence with the same meaning as the previous one, as if you have me figured out completely and that reprise in your comment as an artful mean is worth more effort. Since it falls completely off-target, that looks stupid.