this post was submitted on 07 Aug 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works 16 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (4 children)

Brendon! Brendon come here for a sec.

Yeah coach?

Brendon I have something to tell you. It's something important. Never fall in love Brendon. It's not worth it, you don't have what it takes.

Uh huh

Love is an alpha male's game Brendon. Do you know what an alpha male is?

Uh, yeah I think s..

An alpha male is the strongest man in a tribe, Brendon. They did this study with wolves, turns out the alphas get all the ladies. Chicks really eat that stuff up. You're what's called a beta, Brendon. You've just got no chance, you're better off not even trying.

Uh, are you an alpha male, coach?

I'm a sigma male Brendon. Sigma, there's a difference. Means I'm a lone wolf, I don't follow the rules Brendon. The ladies can't handle that, it intimidates them. If you think about it that's even more alpha than the alpha males. I read it online.

Uh huh. Where'd you read that coach?

The Internet Brendon, the information superhighway. Lot of information on there. A lot of information some people, betas, aren't ready to hear Brendon. It's sorta subversive, off the beaten path. The kind of information they don't want people to know.

Who's"they"?

Brendon why don't you worry about getting out there and actually kicking the ball. And don't fall in love, that's important.

[–] jenny_ball@lemmy.world 9 points 3 months ago (2 children)

i love this cartoon. i still have a hard time hearing h jon in all the other cartoons because his voice is most perfect for mcguirk

[–] MrJameGumb@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago

You should check out the show before this one Dr Katz, Professional Therapist! It's made by a lot of the same people and has H Jon Benjamin in as far as I know his first voice over role!

[–] 0ops@lemm.ee 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

What's it from? I couldn't help but read it in the voice of Rick Sanchez. Replace Brenden with Morty and it kinda works

[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago

Home Movies

And while checking it was called "Home Movies" instead of "Home Videos", I discovered that it's all on YouTube.

https://m.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLZsAZF5hQPWnYUCrUuFneVxu6lWOF1qbw

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