this post was submitted on 10 Jan 2024
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I hate that I’m the second, and so aggressively that it’s hurt relationships before
~~if i tried to comfort you about it, though, wouldn't that just perpetuate and enable the problem?~~
...actually no, i can't even joke about it. I'm sorry people left you feeling emotionally abandoned, bro. It's not fair that you get put under this double standard. The fact is, everyone needs emotional labor. Another word for emotional labor is goddamn fucking empathy and SOME PEOPLE don't want to show any toward men.
THOSE people don't matter. The kind of woman who would look at you as a burden would, in fact, be a burden upon you.
You are worthy of love. You are worth the investment of psychological and emotional energy. You have value even above and beyond intrinsic value as a human being. And if you were here, I'd be taking us both out for tacos and/or ice cream right goddamn now.
The whole concept of emotional labour is designed to sell therapy.
I think you've got a point here:
LABELING it "Emotional Labor" commoditizes it - turns a natural process of humanity into a product. To be sold.
I think there’s a balance here. I have the gut reaction to the concept as you do, but I’ve also on too many occasions put too much on loved ones and had to learn to not take more than my fair share and I’ve had a partner who was constantly in need of emotional assistance and it was exhausting.
It should be like money between friends. If you’re keeping count a problem is happening, maybe it’s that someone didn’t contribute their fair share enough that you noticed and it’s starting to put a burden on others or maybe you’re overly commoditizing your relationships.
I definitely think there is an over commodification of relationships problem on the left at the moment. But I think the root causes are a little that everyone is spread thin and exhausted and also that we’ve gotten words for these ways in which some people take too much and our communities have gotten weak. A strong community defaults to giving what is needed, but recipients make a point to return contributions with what they can give.
Along with everything else, yes.