Selfhosted
A place to share alternatives to popular online services that can be self-hosted without giving up privacy or locking you into a service you don't control.
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You're asking for a lot of pain. That's all I can say. Like SIP, SMTP is one of the most attacked services out there. It has to be public, it has to be on specific ports, and it has to be advertised that it's available. There's a reason why people don't mess with it anymore.
I'd like to hide behind the service that I'm paying for without incurring extra fees for retaining it all. I can figure out the pull side by using fetchmail or something to a server that hosts dovecot, but the sending side is confusing since I'd need something that can receive my email and send it via the service. It's only 1 email address, so I'm not looking for a mail relay, but something like a full caching mail proxy.
Just configured your mail clients pop/IMAP server as your fetchmail target and SMTP as your hosted service.
Just use Proton or a similar service. You're getting the same thing for free or cheap.