this post was submitted on 27 Mar 2024
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Not The Onion

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We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

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  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

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[–] zloubida@lemmy.world 45 points 7 months ago (3 children)

It's a lie. This Government backed “news service” hides us the fact that this is a Tribble.

[–] Timwi@kbin.social 10 points 7 months ago

This far from Klingon space?

[–] linearchaos@lemmy.world 1 points 7 months ago

God I hope so, those things are delicious

[–] ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 0 points 7 months ago

President Tribble has my vote!

[–] SkyezOpen@lemmy.world 41 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Funny. Friend saw a tiny black poof ball on the highway, thought, "that might not be a poof ball," pulled over, and it was a tiny kitten. Now he's a meatball that likes to munch feet.

[–] user224@lemmy.sdf.org 6 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Now he’s a meatball that likes to munch feet.

Are you sure your friend wasn't just hiding that before?

[–] SkyezOpen@lemmy.world 3 points 7 months ago

Uhh... The cat munches the feet, not the friend. I mean, I don't know that the friend doesnt munch feet, but the cat certainly does.

[–] jqubed@lemmy.world 26 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 19 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Nothing else happened in Manchester that day? 🤷

[–] Patches@sh.itjust.works 3 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Alternatively something very very bad happened, and this story was published to cover it up.

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 5 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Maybe Manchester City are finally being held accountable for their years of systematic financial doping?

[–] Geek_King@lemmy.world 9 points 7 months ago

How light are "hoglets"? Because I'd think a living creature would weigh a bit more than a hat bobble.

[–] Aatube@kbin.melroy.org 6 points 7 months ago

"Our hearts melted"