What a horrible day to be literate.
this post was submitted on 07 Jul 2024
255 points (79.3% liked)
Greentext
6785 readers
1140 users here now
This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
- Anon is often crazy.
- Anon is often depressed.
- Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
What a horrible time to be hungry. ๐คฎ
so, staying in the subject of horribleness, have you ever realised the throwing up emoji looks like someone sucking shrek's cock?
im so soory
So recently I stumbled across a post saying that the vomiting emoji (๐คฎ) looks like it was giving head to Shrek. I had to start furiously jerking off while looking at vomiting emoji on Google images due to my overwhelming ogre fetish. The way the emoji is sucking Shrek's massive cock makes me horny as fuck. I continued beating my meat to this one image for twelve minutes straight until I finally came, then I realized what I had masturbated to.
I literally cannot unsee it so every time I saw the vomiting emoji I was forced to think about Shrek blowjob. One time while I was at work, but then I saw a ๐คฎ emoji, I instantly started jerking off because of how hot this image really is. People were shocked at first but when I told them it's ogre blowjob they all started masturbating together. Eventually I got fired for causing all this mess.
This could all be prevented if the vomiting emoji didn't look like someone giving head to Shrek. Please make it look less erotic so this doesn't happen again.
I can't unsee the Shreked emoji.
Might be time for you to put the Internet away and go outside for an afternoon. ๐คฃ
yeah please give me the keys to the door, i've been here too long
Less of this, please.
If he eats himself completely, this will eventually resolve itself.
Iโve seen a lot of gross shit from Anon over the years, but this is among the worst.
I hate thid. I hat you OP. I fucking hate you. I didn't want to hear this. I didn't need to hear this. I was doing just fine. now I feel bad. fuck you.
and goodbye
Sometime needs to be watching him all the time. This is why they invented God.
Forgive me father, for I have munched.
Average FOSS genius
Thanks
i understood that reference
...not sure if my curiosity is worth the terrible day that I'll have after knowing what may come.next
you'll feel better if you don't
Doing weirdly disgusting things spur of the moment is one thing. But deliberately waiting to do it, having given yourself a bit to realize how gross it is? That's not right.
write about it on 4chan
My brother once got a huge scab on his knee and the top of it opened up and formed a pocket, so we put a penny in it lol
Bro, gross. Go to the bathroom and eat it there like a normal person.
Bet he was itching for the moment to eat it too
I hoped someone would get that.
@Early_To_Risa People will feel queasy eating their own scabs but will mindlessly devour an entire string of morcilla, SMH my head
Instead of making it into a sausage, they should pour the blood onto a sheet pan and dehydrate it so they can eat the scabs like jerky. ๐
Well, how was it? Was it worth the wait?
As a kid i used to have a scab eating compulsion, but it was like instant. If any amount of time passed at all it was immediately gross and i would immediately flick it away.
What is it with the urge to eat these things, I wonder...