this post was submitted on 06 Aug 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works
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Anon attempts blackmail (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 3 months ago by Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works to c/greentext@sh.itjust.works
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[–] Sanctus@lemmy.world 197 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Jfc, Anon. Blackmail is your first thought?

[–] kylie_kraft@lemmy.world 176 points 3 months ago (1 children)

it's a green text, this almost certainly never happened

[–] jballs@sh.itjust.works 104 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Fake: Anon is clearly fantasizing about seeing his teacher naked.

Gay: Anon's first thought is to exploit this for video games.

[–] cheddar@programming.dev 11 points 3 months ago

Real: anon's first thought is to exploit this for video games

Gay: anon is not fantasizing about his teacher

[–] ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net 11 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Fake: Anon is clearly fantasizing about seeing his teacher naked.

Who hasn't? You're stuck in a room for a few hours every day all day and the mind wanders into some dark places.

Mr. Appletree, you geriatric prime hunk of man... How many rolls cover your wrinkle stick?

[–] jballs@sh.itjust.works 5 points 3 months ago

Yeah that was my point. Anon didn't discover his teacher's secret Only Fans account. He was just day dreaming.

[–] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 32 points 3 months ago (3 children)

I mean, there are worse things to have demanded besides a PS5. Sounds like anon is not as much a degenerate as they could’ve been.

[–] shneancy@lemmy.world 20 points 3 months ago (1 children)

blackmail never ends after the first demand tbh, if this was real the power over another person could get into his head more than it already has

[–] jaybone@lemmy.world 12 points 3 months ago

Next he’s gonna ask for Spiderman pajamas and that she microwave his chicken nuggets.

[–] MeDuViNoX@sh.itjust.works 17 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Gaming PC or bust.

[–] jaybone@lemmy.world 6 points 3 months ago

Or bust deez nuts

[–] MataVatnik@lemmy.world 73 points 3 months ago (4 children)

If I was the teacher I would just put anon in special Ed classes

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 33 points 3 months ago

Why? Do you want to set back special ed?

[–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 13 points 3 months ago

Special Ed sounds like you're insulting some poor dude called Ed.

[–] NOT_RICK@lemmy.world 10 points 3 months ago (1 children)

it’s was not hers

Might already be there

[–] Xyre@lemmus.org 7 points 3 months ago

Plot twist, OP was homeschooled.

[–] sir_pronoun@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago

That would make for another fun greentext, sounds good

[–] Mubelotix@jlai.lu 58 points 3 months ago (1 children)

It was her

[–] SomeGuy69@lemmy.world 11 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Does it matter? Jerkin' the gherkin

[–] nifty@lemmy.world 12 points 3 months ago

The fact she met anon but said wasn’t her, means THAT page wasn’t her. Anon just needs to find hers

[–] therealjcdenton@lemmy.zip 3 points 3 months ago

He really wants a PS5